Six Magic Words that will Change EVERYTHING

 

You have heard me teach about how important the words you use — everyday – are.

How you talk about your givers – with them and around them. How you talk about yourself – the dialog running through your head about your value and ability.

There’s a book from fashion designer, Erin Walsh, called, The Art of Intentional Dressing. In it she describes 6 simple words to ask yourself before getting dressed in the morning.

Now I don’t know about you….but I generally say, “Ugh, what am I going to wear today?” Or pack to wear to speak. Or get on stage to sing in tonite.”

Well her 6 simple words stopped me in my tracks.

 

How do I want to feel?

At first glance, the conversation was about clothing. About getting dressed. About choosing what to wear. But I immediately morphed this into….

 

How do I want to feel TODAY?

And the more I played around with this the more I realized this question has almost nothing to do with clothes, and everything to do with MY LIFE! And everything I teach about Mindset!!

Because you might start the day asking: What do I want to wear today? But  hidden inside that question is, “How do I want others to see me? What image should I project? What will people think?”

Ouch! Suddenly you are choosing what to wear based on outside judgment instead of your internal intention around how you want to show up!

So when you ask instead:  How do I want to feel today?

Everything shifts. Because your closet is not just full of clothing.

Your closet becomes a portal of possibility.

Do you want to feel:

• Bold?
• Dynamic?
• Elegant?
• Comfortable?
• Powerful?
• Joyful?
• Playful?

 

And that leads to what can you put on that helps you step into that feeling?

But here’s where this idea gets really interesting.

 

We All Have Our “Eight Outfits”

 

The truth is most of us wear the same 5–10 outfits over and over. Why?

Because they feel safe. Comfortable. Reliable. Familiar. You know they work.

And if you are honest…You do the exact same thing in life.

You tend to keep the same close circle of people. You stick with what’s familiar. You repeat the same habits. You operate inside the same comfort zones.

AND YES!!! Here’s the BIG ONE!

You and I do this in fundraising too.

You call on the same donors.  Spend time with the same supporters. Revisit the same relationships.  Why?  Because they’re comfortable. Safe. Easy. You know how those conversations go. But…

And

Because “How do I want to feel today?” is really another way of asking:

How do I want to show up today?  And how you show up determines how you act.

And how you act today determines where you will be six months from now.

 

So if I ask myself:

How do I want to feel today?

 

Maybe my answer is:

Like a ROCK STAR major gift relationship builder and inspirational Speaker!!!

Who’s THAT Marcy?

She can’t wait to make the call.
She’s energized by the conversation.
She sees possibility everywhere.
She moves toward people instead of away from discomfort.

She ready to hop on any stage, any time.

She’s smiling.

 

A Story On Choosing Your Response

I had a client call earlier this week that perfectly illustrates this.  My client had received a beautiful $200,000 gift from a donor and believed the next natural step might be a $1 million ask for a particular project that felt right. It made sense. But during the conversation, we learned something: The donor had made a major gift, not yet announced, inspired by a deeply personal hospital experience during an end-of-life situation we knew nothing about. In other words…that giving decision had emotional roots our project simply did not share. So now what?

(HERE’s the JUICE!)  We could choose disappointment. Frustration. Deflation.

OR…

We could ask: How do I want to feel about this?

 

And choose to be:

• Grateful for the relationship.
• Graceful for receiving what was given.
• Determined to keep moving forward.
• Hopeful about what may come next.

 

That emotional choice changes everything. Because…

We Wear A lot more than Clothes!

 

Everything we “put on” tells a story.

Our clothes.  Our words. Our attitude. Our reactions. Our mindset.

 

Every day, you “wear” emotions.

You wear disappointment.
You wear gratitude.
You wear resentment.
You wear grace.
You wear confidence.
You wear insecurity.

 

And those choices affect every part of your life.

Your donor relationships. Your marriage. Your friendships. Your leadership. Your future.

So when something happens—someone says something hurtful, disappoints you, lets you down, surprises you— Maybe the better question is not: Why did they do that?

But rather: How do I want to feel about this?

Who do I want to be in response?

 

Here’s My Challenge to You

Tomorrow morning…

Before you get dressed. Before you check your email. Before you make your calls.
Before you react to the world around you—

Pause. And ask yourself:

 

How do I want to feel today?

 

Then choose your clothes. Choose your mindset. Choose your attitude.

Choose your actions. Because…

And how you show up shapes your future.

And I want yours to be filled with JOY!

 

Shine On,
Marcy

Invest in Joy!™