Own your Role, not the result

Ever have times when you feel you are doing everything right…and it just doesn’t work? Or you worked so hard, planned meticulously, executed flawlessly—and the results were still disappointing. In those moments, it’s natural to be frustrated and wonder, “What did I do wrong?”

The answer? Probably nothing.

Fact – your best-laid plans don’t always pan out. Why? Because while you CAN control your efforts, you can’t control the results. And here’s the bummer part. Too often, you tie your sense of success, confidence, and self-worth to those results, when in fact, you can only own your role – not the result.

Stephen Covey’s “Circle of Influence” teaches that you can only truly control your actions, attitudes, and responses. The rest—how people react, external conditions, even random chance—are outside your power.

When you focus too much on your results, you can feel disappointed or even defeated, despite having given it your best. Reframe your focus to what you can control—your preparation, your work ethic, your integrity, and regain your power!  Remember that success isn’t just about the outcome; it’s about the way you showed up and the effort you put in. That’s a win even when the results don’t show it.

Real-World Examples: Here Are 3 True Client Stories

• A golf outing to raise money for high school athletics had double the sponsorship dollars in place, extra foursomes signed up, and a perfect day planned. The day arrived…along with an extended downpour. After the mixed start, the day was still successful but not what anyone expected.

• A meeting with a major donor and the Board Chair had all the pieces in place: you, the fundraiser, had been growing this relationship and the donor was ready for your carefully crafted three-sentence Ask. The Board Chair was prepped on the plan and her role. During the meeting, the Board Chair suddenly said, “How about giving us $50,000?”—half of what you intended to ask for. The donor agrees. You could scream. Lesson: you can influence leadership, but they have their own mindset and confidence issues that manifest in their behavior. Stay with this donor and the additional money will come.

• A large stewardship mailing goes out, and you realize a critical piece was missing. The printer takes responsibility, and while the entire thing is re-sent, the momentum of the mailing changes. What was supposed to be seamless hit a bump that couldn’t have been anticipated.  Lesson: Mistakes happen. How you handle it is what ultimately reflects on you.
• A major donor who seemed poised to give $500,000—the largest gift of your career—suddenly backs out, saying it won’t work. Stunned, you thank her and simply ask if you can stay in touch, and the donor agrees. Lesson: Life happens to your donors, too. Keep the faith, stay engaged and if possible, she will make the gift later. Don’t pry because you’re disappointed.

Letting Go of Outcomes

In each of these situations, the effort and planning were there, but the results didn’t go as planned. The Serenity Prayer says, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” This is a beautiful reminder that there is freedom in letting go of what is beyond our control.

Yet understand – letting go of the need to control outcomes doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you pour your energy into what you can control—your actions, your words, your passion—and trust that the results will follow in their own way, or perhaps not at all. Either way, you can walk away knowing you made a good effort.

Own Your Role, Not the Result

Life won’t always give you the results you want – and perhaps have earned! Feel proud of your effort even when things don’t go as planned. That’s the real success!

Invest in JOY!