Permission Granted: Ask for Both
Just done sharing a webinar presentation for Crescendo Planned Giving with my friend and former client, Niki Chopra Richardson, Executive Director of TOArts.
Our goal – sharing a message about asking for both! Leading with Legacy: Blended Asks — about helping donors combine immediate impact with lasting legacy. By the time you read this, the session will be over — but you can get a copy of my slide deck here!
You see, friends, the heart of transformational giving is mindset, clarity, relationships, and conversations that help people see the difference they can make — now and in the future.
Here are a few of the ideas we explored.
- It’s All in Your Head
Your success is 90% due to your thinking – your mindset!
If you believe donors are tired of being asked, you’ll hesitate.
If you believe planned giving is complicated, you’ll avoid it.
If you believe people don’t want to talk about legacy, the conversation never happens.
Likewise, if you believe YOU aren’t able to lead these conversations or be respected, you need to take a good look in the mirror and remember YOUR why for getting into this honorable and noble work. I’ll bet there is a passion you hold for doing something with YOUR life that makes a difference in someone else’s life. Stay the course.
When you believe donors want to make a difference — and want your help doing it — everything changes.
One of my favorite reframing exercises is simple. When a negative thought shows up, try asking:
“How can I reframe this into something that moves the relationship forward?”
And, when you change the way you look at things —- the things you look at CHANGE!
- Vibrant Options Inspire Giving – A confused donor rarely gives.
People give when they can clearly see what their gift will accomplish and how it fits their values.
Instead of presenting vague needs, create Vibrant Options for Giving.
- Build the room
- Fund the scholarship
- Launch the program
- Endow the position
These need to be clearly described and at a range of price points. Help donors understand not just what the money supports, but how their gift creates positive change, lifts up someone, provides a second chance.
And remember — different donors connect with different options.
Some prefer current impact.
Some prefer legacy.
Many love both.
When you present clear choices across giving types and levels, donors can find the opportunity that feels right for them. That’s when generosity becomes joyful.
- Creating Authentic Relationships
The words we use shape how we feel about ourselves, our work, our donors — and impacts how our donors experience it.
That’s why in my Cycle of Successful Relationships I talk about:
- Creating Joyful Givers instead of cultivation
- Artful Asking instead of solicitation
- Grateful Receiving instead of stewardship
Language matters because it reflects what we believe.
When our goal is sincerely helping donors use their resources to do good in the world, fundraising becomes a partnership — not a transaction.
The real conversations sound like this:
- How do you want to be remembered?
- What difference would you love to make?
- What would it mean to leave your mark?
- Let is help you make the change you want to make?
Together, you and your donor co-create a journey that may include both current gifts and future gifts — a blend that reflects what matters most to them.
- Asking for Anything Artfully
An authentic donor journey always includes invitations.
That’s where the Three-Sentence Ask becomes an anchor:
You have…
You have cared deeply about education all your life.
You understand…
You understand how important scholarships are for students who otherwise couldn’t attend.
Would you consider…
Would you consider supporting both a current scholarship and a legacy gift so students can benefit for generations?
This approach doesn’t push. It guides.
You can use it to secure a yes to a visit, a yes to continuing the conversation, a yes to exploring options, and eventually a yes to a gift donors feel truly excited about.
A love letter is a relational proposal. My co-presenter, Niki Chopra Richardson, coined the phrase and I LOVE IT! Transformational giving doesn’t happen on a timeline. It happens through trust built over time. As you spend time with your donors, share vibrant options for giving and listen, you can draft a love letter that captures their passion, and presents 2-3 options – Legacy and Current – to help focus in as you continue the conversation.
Take baby steps by providing whatever information, experiences, and connections help them fully embrace what and how they want to give. Because when donors understand the difference they can make — both now and someday — generosity becomes deeply meaningful.
And remember, it’s always the donor’s timeline – not yours, your campaigns, your ED’s or your Board’s.
Stay the Course
You MUST stay centered on relationships and possibility. Baby steps will energize you and create results. Taking the wrong step shines a light on the right one. How you walk through your days and pour into others will set loose an incredible positive chain reaction! Wohoo!
Know that I will always believe in the magic you can create.
Invest in Joy!™
