This Valentine’s Day: Who is YOUR Porcupine?

If you only hug the people who are easy to love, your heart never grows — it just stays comfortable.

Valentine’s Day makes love look easy.

Chocolate hearts. Red roses.

Kittens. Bunnies. Puppies.

 

The people who make you smile without effort.

The friends who finish your sentences.

The donors who light up when you call (and thus light YOU up).

The conversations that end in laughter and warmth.

 

Those are kittens, bunnies and puppies.

 

Kittens, bunnies and puppies are easy to hug.

But life is not made of kittens, bunnies and puppies.

Sometimes it’s made of porcupines.

 

You know the ones —

The people who don’t agree with you

Don’t understand you.

Frustrate you.

Disappoint you.  Hurt you.

Push buttons you didn’t even know you had.

 

They are the ones you tell off in the shower wishing you could say it TO them but you don’t dare. The ones you wish would stop listening to the same news channel and dig deeper for real facts.

And yet…

This past week I spent hours talking with supporters to One Vison – an organization that helps people with disabilities live full, meaningful lives. Every conversation ended in a hug — sometimes spoken, sometimes felt. It was easy love. Beautiful love. Energizing love. They were OUR PEOPLE!  And yet, they had real input and feedback for how our next steps can be the BEST steps we can take – steps they can get on board with. And some of this was challenging to hear – places we need to reset, dig deeper and get more clarity.

 

Real love isn’t measured by how warmly we feel when it’s comfortable.

Real love is measured by what we choose when it isn’t comfortable.

A porcupine doesn’t stop being worthy of care because they’re hard to hold.
They just require intention.

So this Valentine’s Day, yes — celebrate your favorites.

Call the people who always lift you.

Send chocolate to someone who makes your life brighter.

Reach out especially to the ones who are lonely, grieving, or quietly hurting.

 

And then… consider one more thing.

 

Offer kindness where it doesn’t come naturally.

You don’t have to agree.
You don’t have to pretend.
You don’t have to stay in a conversation that harms you.

 

But you can choose generosity of spirit.

A gentle word.
A softened assumption.
A pause before judgment.

A reminder that every person you meet is living inside a story you cannot see.

 

You see….YOUR LOVE EXPANDS when it stretches.

 

So hug your kittens and bunnies and puppies!
Celebrate your people.

Buy yourself flowers too — AND CHOCOLATE!  Seriously, don’t skip that part.

 

And also make time to carefully, intentionally, bravely…

 

HUG A PORCUPINE!!!

 

You might not get a cuddle.

But you will grow a heart that can hold the whole world.

And, THAT, my dear friends, is inclusion.

 

 

Sending you my hug – hoping I am not your porcupine – but ever so grateful if you are willing to hug me anyway.

 

And here’s a hug — Right back at you…..

 

Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤️

Invest in Joy!™