When Timelines Slip… Stop the Stress – Enjoy the Process

 

You always have a choice when timelines slip. Yep, you do.

You can panic. You can blame. You can lay awake at night. You can fire off tense emails, roll your eyes in meetings, and wonder—loudly—why no one else seems to care as much as you do.

Or you can breathe. Reframe.

And please – give this situation the amount of drama it deserves. Remember that deadlines are real… sometimes. More often than not, deadlines are either negotiable—or downright made up. A well-timed, respectful ask for more space can often buy you exactly what you need to complete something with excellence. (But remember… your track record matters. If you’re always the one asking for “just a few more days,” you lose credibility. But if you’re pretty much on time others will often be happy to flex.)

In my coaching calls during this season of galas, runs, and major donor events, I coach a lot around slipping timelines and how this spirals into stress. Instead, let’s get curious about what’s happening here.  (And, keep in mind that in many ways, our major donor relationship action plans are also timelines that shift – remember it the DONOR’S TIMELINE not ours.)

Generally we think of a deadline as something that must happen at a certain time: the gala starts at 6:00, the tent gets delivered by Thursday, the walk begins Saturday morning. But even in these examples how many times are these “deadlines” just timelines—internal plans meant to keep the bigger picture on track?

Timelines should reduce stress. They’re meant to map out the work in manageable and shared pieces. Timelines based on unrealistic or someone’s perfectionism or fear instead of actual constraints, just add pressure and drama. (Bet you all know these folks!)

Let’s shift how we think about and use timelines—for galas, walks, and donor engagement events AND as we consider our major gift donor journeys.

1. What Shapes a Timeline?

Timelines aren’t facts—they’re guesses. Hopefully informed ones, but still guesses. They’re built based on:

• Mindset – If someone assumes the work will be hard, they’ll build in cushion. If they assume it’ll be easy, they won’t. Neither is “wrong”—but mismatched assumptions cause friction.
• Experience – Someone who’s pulled an event for years has a very different sense of what’s realistic than someone doing it for the first time.
• Confidence – If you don’t fully believe in your ability (or your teammate’s), you’ll create more buffer… or more anxiety.
• Trust – If someone’s been burned by a late vendor or a last-minute scramble, they’ll plan defensively. Again, fair! But that doesn’t mean every future timeline should be set in stone based on a past misfire.
• Fear of the unknown – There’s value in building in reasonable wiggle room, but don’t we all know that it’s there???

2. Stop the Spiral When Things Shift

When your timeline slips—and it will—here are your next actions:

• Don’t let one delay trigger a meltdown. Most shifts are recoverable with honest communication and teamwork. Ask – how can we adjust? One of my clients had a report that the golf course her golf outing was going to take place a week later had some maintenance issues. She moved her entire event a week ahead!  It can be done!
• Use check-ins, not call-outs. A timeline should include regular, judgment-free moments to ask, “Where are we?” and “What do you need?” If someone’s behind, find the bottleneck and support them—don’t shame them.
• Check your tone. Passion is great—but if it spills into frustration, finger-pointing, or martyrdom (“I’m the only one who cares here?!”), it kills team morale and trust.
• Keep it about the mission. Yes, you want everything perfect. But your real job is to build community, foster generosity, and move hearts. Don’t lose that in the details.

3. Grace Wins

Every development shop is juggling event logistics, donor stewardship, sponsorship follow-up, and major gift relationship building. Yes, you want a polished experience.

But more than that, you want to inspire generosity and deepen relationships. Everything you do should be measured on the answer to this question…Does this deepen our relationships?

That doesn’t happen through panic, control, or emails IN ALL CAPS. It happens when your team feels like they’re part of something meaningful. Not just another timeline or event machine grinding toward a deadline.

So…

• Hold timelines loosely.
• Treat people with trust.
• Ask for what you need with respect.
• Lead with generosity, not fear.

You always have a choice when timelines slip.

Choose trust. Choose collaboration. Choose to shine.

 

Invest in Joy™