5 MUST DO’s When F2F
The Power of IN-PERSON – 5 MUST DO’s When F2F
Let me be really straight with you.
I see — and so does everyone else — every time you glance at your phone or watch.
Wanna raise more major gifts this year?
Stop looking at your darn phones and watches. Better yet, take them off before you go on an in-person call.
You are NOT subtle. You are not clever. You are slapping your donor in the face and saying, “You aren’t important enough to me to stop looking at my phone for the one hour we are together.”
And so, we begin with #1:
The Power of IN-PERSON – 5 MUST DO’s When F2F
1. Be totally IN.
That means no phones, no watches, no distractions. Own that this is just plain rude. If the message you’re waiting for is that important, you shouldn’t be on the call.
Charlamagne Tha God says, “We are all in verbally abusive relationships with our phones.” You have the power to stop this abuse. Put it away.
- Be like them.
Match their energy, professionalism, mannerisms, language, and sense of personal space.
There’s my donor — she’s in full makeup, jewelry, high heels, and a suit — at our 10 a.m. “coffee” in her living room. You bet I dressed up.
There’s the guy in tennis sweats at the country club — relaxed, not sloppy.
As a young fundraiser (in my 20s), I always slightly overdressed. If they’re amped up, I match it. If they’re soft-spoken, I dial it down. The goal is to build comfort and trust.
I love huggers — but I also manage my hugging instinct and always ask permission.
- Be curious — not nosey, and certainly not critical.
We build relationships by asking thoughtful questions. Our job is to connect the dots between what donors care about and what we’re doing — through conversation, not interrogation.
You don’t need to fill out a 30-question data sheet on the first visit. And if they have beliefs or opinions that differ from yours, don’t judge — be curious. Ask why they feel that way. Be inclusive of their perspective.
- Be ready with an ask.
Yes, already! Have Marcy’s 3-sentence ask (www.marcyheim.com/askworksheet) drafted as your best guess for the amount and project they might be interested in and capable of supporting.
You will most likely not speak it out loud — but it sets your intention. It’s your North Star.
Research shows it often takes 6–9 meaningful “touches” over 6 months to go from identifying a new major donor to making the ask. But when you go into an in-person visit with clarity, intention, and a draft ask in mind, amazing things happen. Trust me.
- Be ready with “what’s next.”
Before every in-person visit, do these four things:
- Decide the 2–3 key messages you want to leave behind.
- Prepare 2–3 thoughtful questions to ask.
- Address and stamp a thank-you note ahead of time, so it’s ready to write and drop in the mail.
- Set the next step before you leave — “I’ll call you next week to follow up on X,” or “I’ll schedule that tour we discussed.”
We live in an Attention Economy. Big Tech designs your device to keep you glued to it. The longer you’re on, the more money they make — off your time.
So, the better job you do being all-in with your donors in person, the more meaningful the relationship becomes – for both of you. It’s a remarkable shift — and one that builds authentic, productive partnerships that lead to larger and more joyful giving – more often.
Because when you serve donors well, you empower them to create the change that matters most to them. And that brings JOY — deeper than happiness. Joy endures. Joy sustains.
You have a calling — not a job.
Enjoy it.
Invest in Joy™
