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Let’s get real here, folks.  Data only works if you do.

You can use data for better or for worse depending on your objectives. I challenge you to embrace that data gives you the OPPORTUNITY to be successful only if you TAKE ACTION WITH IT!

How many on-line programs have we purchased to never get past Module I?

How many reports have we created about our giving numbers only to continue to hold the same events, send the same letters and postpone the same major donor visits?

How many feasibility studies have we purchased that say there are folks out there who will support the project, but we never build the relationships and ask?

How many times have we talked about the data around a non-performing staff member (doesn’t return phone calls, show up, make the calls etc)  or a weak ED but don’t make a staffing change?

How many times have we looked at the data around board giving and looked for ways to create “100% Board Giving” to fill out a grant application?   

1. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET 

Everything starts here.

You can manipulate data to give you the message you want – often times that leads us to finding excuses like, “It’s not my fault. It’s out of my control.”

Data supports you and advises on actions, yes…but numbers and reports and studies and programs do nothing but take up space in your computer or on your shelf without YOU deciding you are going to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Often this means change- doing things outside of your comfort zone.

• Walking 4 miles every day regardless of being tired or stiff.
• Leaving NOW for your daughter’s soccer game regardless of what remains undone at the office.
• Turning on the German lesson or doing Module I.
• Making the call for that first major giving visit, and the next…
• Putting off other work distractions to focus on the campaign, today and again tomorrow.
• Replacing staff.
• Inspiring the Board to give.

This is about fear.

Fear of making mistakes.

Fear of being laughed at as you take your 180 pounds to the gym.

Fear of a donor saying ‘no’.

Fear of failing to raise the money.

Fear of the what will happen without the poor performing staff member…at least they are doing something.

Fear of Board members quitting.

Fear you can’t do it. You are not enough.

Ironically we even have fear around being successful!  What if your love life isn’t remarkably different 30 pounds lighter?  What if you raise the money and struggle to do what you said you were going to do with it?

We become victims.  Poor me, I don’t have the right project. Poor me, I don’t have the right team. Poor me, I don’t have the right parents, or group, or mentors or board.

We live small. “We only have 90 students.” “We are just a two-person shop.” “Our board is not wealthy.”  “People don’t really want to support mental health.” “We aren’t education or faith-based and that’s where most of the money is given.”

Managing your thinking is the hardest and most important task you have. Most of us are not even fully aware of the beliefs and perceptions we hold.  Most of these beliefs are formed by age 6 and we are raised to “play it safe.”

We set small goals so we can meet them without too much struggle.

Why is it that for some, “Everything they touch turns to gold” describes them?”  They are constantly telling themselves a different story.  Changing your mindset requires daily, repetitive work.  The neuron pathways in our mind CAN be reconfigured but it takes countless daily reps of the new beliefs we want to hold.  And it’s taking full responsibility to have the ability to make it happen.

Setting a goal, intending it to happen and then beginning. Moving past fear and doing it anyway.  Believing you can even when that little voice inside is gnawing away at you saying you’re not enough.  Staying on track. Finishing.

2. PARTNERS AND SUPPORT

Taking a step.

Few of us are able to accomplish ambitious goals on our own.  For that fact, even smaller goals can seem a challenge. Taking the first step, and then the next, generally requires support.  We conform to the majority – victim-thinkers saying it can’t be done and it’s not our fault.

Here is where partners, coaches, leaders, personal trainers and mentors matter.  But it’s not the whole story.  You can recruit volunteers or paid support and it still doesn’t work.  Why? You need to be clear on how you choose to work with them.  There are 3 levels of interaction and each has different costs and results.  At the end, it’s always a question of time, money and effort – what is your investment, how much time are you willing to commit and how much work are you willing to do?

Here are the 3 levels:

1. Partner does it for you.  Generally, this is your biggest investment of dollars but your least investment of time.  For example, you hire the consultant to come in and DO the campaign.  This can have varying success depending upon how your donors feel about a “hired gun,” but it can raise dollars. Generally, it doesn’t yield deep long-term giving relationships.  Counsel is engaged in the relationships – then leaves.  Generally, long-term increased giving capacity is not achieved, but the specific campaign project may be funded.

For some goals, full on partners can’t fix it.  They can’t eat right for you (or stop eating wrong).   Partners can’t lose weight for you. (I mean – don’t you wish!)  Partners can’t replace your time with your kids. There is only one you.  Sure, while nannies and grandparents help – they are not you.

Best for this scenario is a task you can delegate to create more time for you to focus on what is important.  Hire someone to mow the lawn and use that time for something else. Hire someone to do the data entry and use that time for something else.

2. Partner does it with you.  Think of the personal trainer, soccer parent buddy you meet at the games, board leader, spouse, friend, or consultant who holds YOU accountable for creating the relationships and doing the work.  This is generally still an investment of dollars or volunteer time and much more so YOUR time. Results are greater, generally transformational and often permanent.

BUT, this is only successful if BOTH partners commit to being “All in” and doing the work.  

YOU MUST BE COACHABLE!

Here is where leadership matters – not leadership by title necessarily, but leadership by energy, support and caring.  Partners doing it with you support you by:

• Helping you stay accountable to the actions you have said you will take.  This means finding someone who can be direct and firm.
• Inspiring you to take another step.  We all need a cheerleader who is on our side.
• Calling you out when you blame others instead of owning your own role in getting it done.
• Not buying into your excuses for why you aren’t doing the work.  How many times do you cancel a coaching call or meeting because something else is more pressing?
• Looking for and celebrating small wins with you.  We see the massive amount of work ahead and often fail to see how far we have come.
• At times stepping in to help you get it done.  There are times we simply need them to step in and help.

My most successful clients show up for everything I do.  We may have a one-on-one, and they hardly ever miss. If I am traveling, they want an alternate time. They show up for group calls for gems they might find. They complete weekly accountability summits.  They ask for help. They do the work.  They take the advice and counsel I give them.  They succeed.

3. You do it yourself.  It is possible to figure it out on your own, create a plan on your own and implement the plan on your own.  However, New Year’s resolutions are a testimony to the success rate we have on our own. Talk to others who have accomplished what you want to do and generally you will hear, “I worked with so and so.” All power to you, but I think it’s a rare person who gets it done without help and support.

Where are you using data to hold you back?

How can you reinvent yourself for the rest of this year to embrace and accomplish something BIG?

What will make you jump out of bed and approach a day eager to attack the day’s agenda?

What results are so important to you that it is worthy of the investment of your dollars, time and effort?

Now is the time to surround yourself with the right people to take massive steps forward towards those personal and professional goals that mean the most to you.  You deserve to be all you are capable of being and the world needs you to be successful!

SHINE ON!

WIIFM – What’s In It For Me.

You may be seeing this acronym for the first time. But many folks believe this question drives almost every decision made from the moment we wake up andinstinctively check our phones to when we finally switch off at bedtime. They believe WIIFM is the subconscious mantra guiding our every action and impacting what work to prioritize or even bother to do at all. And they approach building relationships the same way.

I worked for a university dean who carried a small notebook. In it, he made an entry for everyone he met…and what they could “do” for him. He would star those who could help him the most.  If he didn’t bother to enter a name…well, enough said about the future of THAT relationship!

Conversely when our entire family visited son, David, at Berklee College of Music – Valencia, Spain campus, we met scores of his musical classmates as they combined for impromptu performances. At one point I ask, “What are their musical plans and how might you fit into them?” thinking post-college life. Shocked David answered, “Mom, first we get to know each other as people and musicians. We support each other’s talent. It’s not about what they might do for my career, it’s how our collaboration synergistically becomes something amazing.”  He is his mother’s son.

Do you see how these stories change the questions we ask? “What’s in it for our donors to give to us–and give big?” or “What’s in it for companies to sponsor us?” becomes “As we build authentic relationships with those who share our values and interests, what mutually beneficial partnerships and investments can develop?”

It may sound similar, but it is remarkably different.

As someone who believes in the power of our words, I have never been a fan of WIIFM. WIIFM lives in a mindset that uses words like “cultivation” and “solicitation” and then ponders why volunteers feel fundraising is “unpleasant” and “manipulative” with the goal being to “get into their wallet” or “loosen the purse strings.” It’s a place of selfishness and self-service.

Generosity and WIIFM cannot live in the same place.

In my new book, “Unleashing a Lifestyle of Generosity,” I challenge that we function from a place of Me First – ALWAYS Me First and then, “If it can help you too, well that’s great.” It’s subtle. It’s a mindset. Many would rather roll their eyes and say, “Just tell me what to do to get them to give me money (or whatever you seek).”

Generosity can’t happen with WIIFM because it’s a one-sided relationship.

It doesn’t work in fundraising and it doesn’t work in life.

For almost 80 years Harvard has been conducting the “Harvard Study of Adult Development. “When the study began, nobody cared about empathy or attachment,” said Psychiatrist George Vaillant, “But the key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.”

They learned that genes are good, but Joy is better.

 

Researchers have poured through data, including vast medical records and hundreds of in-person interviews and questionnaires. “When we gathered together everything we knew about them about at age 50” said researcher Robert Waldinger in a popular TED Talk “the people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies; they protect our brains. And those good relationships, they don’t have to be smooth all the time.”

What does this mean for Major Gift Relationship-building?

Your donors experience SO many “solicitors” who approach them with a mindset that all “those wealthy people” care about is what’s in it for them.  One fundraiser described a major donor this way, “Well they have everything you could want so I guess now they figure they can help someone else out – probably just want the tax deduction.”

You have an authentic major donor relationship when:

1. You genuinely respect your donor, her wealth, her accomplishments, her opinions, her beliefs and can describe why your organization is important to her.
2. You understand what shared goals you have with your donor – better the community, give back out of appreciation for what you have amassed in life, feel good about helping those you help, take advantage of a favorable tax situation, be part of a group that helps you improve your status or simply just belong – and you can describe these.
3. You can talk about what you can do together. How your synergy creates something bigger than either of you can do without the other and you see both pieces as equally valuable for success.
4. You talk about your donor the same to their face as you do back at the office.

When we go WIIFM-land we bring judgment around why someone gives. How is that different than, “My son cleans up his room when he wants something.”  Or, “You emptied the dishwasher. What do you want?”

True generosity fosters empathy and attachment that proclaims, “I have enough to share. I want to help. I want to do some good.” The very definition of philanthropy is “love of mankind.”

It’s why development professionals who foster genuine relationships raise more money and are also happier in their roles. They stay longer in their positions which leads to deeper and more relationships, more joy and, yes, lots more money.

How we manage stress, whether our bodies are in a sort of chronic ‘fight or flight’ mode, is impacted by how we approach, talk about and prioritize our personal and professional relationships. This is a challenge now in our profession with overwhelm and exhaustion popular words to describe our lives.

When you look at your donor relationships, how do you feel? With what spirit are you approaching them? Are you wanting to serve, wanting to create that remarkable synergy? When you hit 50, or if you are there already, how do your relationships impact your longevity?

Our kids all flew into Valencia, Spain, where David is in school, to celebrate Dad’s milestone birthday. They took off work, got dog-sitters and put in extra time to make this time. We walked (and walked), played cards, ate paella, hit the Berklee recording studios, met David’s friends, and celebrated Dad’s day with gluten-free cake. I’m certain our activities didn’t nearly meet everyone’s personal “wants” but I’m equally certain if Harvard’s research is correct, we added years to our lives.

Embrace your professional and personal relationships as opportunities to foster your walk to 80. I want you to be a successful advancement professional, AND to be joyful all along the way. Decide and believe that people come from a place where what is in it for them, is what is in it for them AND others!

Hope this finds you feeling like spring is approaching. Here in Wisconsin we seem to be past the deep freeze! Wohoo! And I got the Christmas tree down. Wohoo!

As I work with clients and interview major donors as part of campaign-readiness studies, the sadness and heaviness around staff coming and going is very real. We DO form relationships and these changes leave holes.

A seven-figure community donor said to me during an interview, “I don’t even bother to learn their name anymore. It will be someone different the next time.”  Sharon Bass, Executive Director, The Volunteer Center, Lubbock and a rockstar ED in my Dream-Act-Achieve Coaching program has experienced several staff changes – some welcome, some not.  She shares, “We struggled with a team member who repeatedly had attitude issues. This drama was sucking so much air out of here..so much energy. There is no sense trying to make it work after several direct conversations about the concerns.”

When we experience a departure, positive or pushed, Sharon is realistic. “Somebody is going to have to do that work in the meantime. All of it will fall on a team that is already maxed out. But one of the great things we have learned is to be patient and believe that we will find the right people.”

Following is a guest blog from my colleague and friend, Sheree Allison, President of Thrive consulting in Canada. “It’s time to hire. Again” is spot on.  You can read more from Sheree on her website at http://thrivewithsheree.com

It is time to hire.  Again.

It’s open season in hiring for most organizations. Check with a colleague or visit a nonprofit and you’ll hear about “hard to fill positions” and “it’s tough to keep good staff” and “can’t compete with compensation”. On top of that, you’ll hear a general weariness about “not enough staff and no one to hire”.

Are you sure about that?

People ARE your organization. Without the best people, you will constantly be in a hiring race. After 30 years of serving as Executive Director, I know the race well. All the money you can raise has little impact if the day to day work is not driven by the best people. With over 25% of people changing jobs every year, it’s a mobile market. There’s plenty of talent on your doorstep.

What does it take to get them in your door? It takes both a unique way of thinking followed by a unique approach. You know exactly what you need. Yet so often you step over that, or you step sideways and settle for someone who you know in your heart isn’t a fit. Consider that when you interview, you want to look for and listen for a few little things that tell you a whole lot. They’re quite simple but powerful.

1. Watch how the person arrives for the interview.

If you watch carefully, you’ll see how they handle themselves when meeting strangers. Most likely, the first person they meet is someone they don’t know. Are they shy and timid? Overly boisterous and loud? Make a mental note of how they handle themselves when they arrive. Remember, your work is all about people. You know exactly how you’d want them to present themselves out and about.

2. Look for enthusiasm.

It can’t be manufactured, so look for it during the interview. If it doesn’t show up in the interview, it’s unlikely they’ll pack it when they come to work. Talk to them about things that matter to them instead of what you need done or what the organization needs. You want to hear them tell you with enthusiasm what matters to them and what they are good at. That’s something you can build on. Without enthusiasm, the spark is hard to ignite.  Think about how many times you’ve hired dead embers that never caught fire. My guess is A LOT.

3. Drill for real.

Just as you are anxious and revved up to hire, the person you are interviewing should be equally revved up. It’s like the perfect storm in a pressure cooker. You have the questions and they have the answers. Somehow it all has to come together in 45 minutes so you know if they are the right hire. Your job is to drill to REAL. Who is this person REALLY? What do they TRULY offer? And do they TRULY want this job? Ask the questions that tell you what makes them tick.

4. Check those references!

It’s not that common in small shops. Is it important? Yes. Does it get done? Not often. It may be hard to believe that people get hired and no references get checked, but it happens more often than not. Small to mid-sized nonprofits don’t have HR staff to handle the hiring, so it gets added to the Executive Director’s task list.

References don’t get checked because:

– You’re rushed (you wear 9 other hats throughout the course of a day, after all)

– Your scarce beliefs (“There’s a real shortage of good people so I’m not going to delay”)

– Your gut instinct (you “feel it” and plus you “really like them” and you’re “sure it’s a fit”)

You convince yourself it’s the right decision and sign the paperwork. That’s how references fall off your desk and don’t get done. I’ve got my own little databank of proof that references get skipped. Of the last three staff who left our organization to take jobs in much bigger shops (two in business and one in government), not a single reference was checked. No calls in. No emails. No asks about what their work was like or the value they added.

Hiring great talent starts with YOU.

And it starts with listening, observing and deciding. There may be no rule book, no right or wrong – and there IS a way to do it better than you’ve done it up to this point. Let this be the year you truly OWN your hiring process.

A Final note from Marcy….

This gives you some great advice! Thank you, Sheree!

I also like to use an assessment tool called the Kolbe test.  Look for more on that in the next issue!  In the meantime, we are all juggling our lives as best we can. Be kind to yourself in the 3-ring hiring circus.  Do we have to blame someone when it doesn’t work?  Or when someone leaves? Let’s sigh, take a deep breath, let go of “why me?” and move into “What’s next?”  It may well be an incredible new hire that’s just the person you’ve been looking for!

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

YOU are a gift!

I appreciate YOU!

May your Valentine’s Day be filled with love, your favorite chocolate and flowers. There is still time to shine and share your love and appreciation with YOUR special family, givers and friends.

Create your own Roses are Red verse.  Email it, text it or call and leave it as a phone message. Simple and sincere is special and powerful!

And I DO appreciate you