Tag Archive for: marcy heim

 

Have You Ever Considered a Form to Be a Relational Tool?

What? Has Marcy flipped?

The Artful Asker is talking about forms being relational?

You know they’re simply used to record and define transactions, right?

Well… not so fast.

Yes, a form may technically be a tool to document intent, process a gift, or create an agreement. But when it’s created and shared artfully, it can also become part of the relationship journey. It can affirm your giver’s values, vision, and identity as someone who is generous and committed to your mission.

Forms can actually inspire giving, deepen trust, and invite clarity — if you treat them not just as paperwork, but as touchpoints.

Here are three of the most common information forms you will use in major gift fundraising:

 

1. The Major Gift Pledge Form

This one is usually very business-like: “I hereby pledge $X to be paid over Y years.”

But imagine if it instead began with:

“I/we are inspired to support the mission of [Organization Name] through this generous commitment because…”

Now we’ve made space for the giver’s motivation — their why. It’s not just an obligation, it’s a celebration.

You might also include:

• A checkbox for “I/we would enjoy periodic updates on the impact of this gift.”
• A note of thanks within the form: “We are honored by your confidence in us. Your belief in our work truly makes a difference.”

 

2. The Endowment Gift Agreement

This form often sets terms: how much, how the annual earnings will be process and distributed, lots of legal stuff, investment language.

But what if it also asked:

“What legacy do you hope this fund will carry forward?”  Or in agreement speak – “By making this the donors intend to leave a legacy of support for young people pursuing a veterinary degree – just as the donors received help during their degree years.”

Not only does that open a heartfelt conversation — it gives you insight into how to steward that donor, their family, and the fund itself for years to come.

You could even invite:

• A quote from the donor to share with future recipients.
• A name for the fund that reflects a personal value or loved one.

 

3. The Gift in Will (Bequest) Form

Bequest forms tend to be transactional, but they can affirm a profound decision. Try this language:

“Thank you for sharing that you’ve included [Organization Name] in your estate plans. You honor us by being part of your lasting legacy and we are deeply grateful.

And you might ask:

• “What inspired this decision?”
• “Would you like to remain anonymous or be recognized publicly?”
• “Would you like us to notify someone else of this gift in the future?”

 

What’s the Point?

In working with development professionals and the organizations they serve I will often see this sort of messaging on the website, in the cover letter or in a proposal – but then comes the form and WHACK! Could be an intake form for the hospital.  Sterile. To-the-point and maybe easier for the data entry folks to process – but certainly we have just pushed our donor out of their hearts and into their heads.  Why not intersperse some donor love?

 

These aren’t just documents. They’re moments. You can help your givers pause, reflect, listen, and affirm why there are making a gift to you in the first place. You can lift them up as they do this paperwork drudgery.

When you treat forms as part of your relationship work, not just your recordkeeping, you build deeper trust and lasting connection.

So yes…
Forms can be relational.
And no…
Marcy hasn’t flipped.

I’m just inviting you to see even the paperwork as part of the art of asking artfully.

Invest in Joy™

 

Do You HAVE to ASK?

 

“I didn’t even have to ask!”

You may have heard someone say this — and thought, “Wow! That’s great!”

You may have even seen this praised as a goal in fundraising.

But here’s the better question:

 

Is that really the best outcome for your donor and your organization?

(Warning: a little tough love ahead.)

Let’s unpack this. The key question is not whether you had to ask — it’s why didn’t you?

 

Four Possible Scenarios:

 

1. You were uncomfortable asking.
   If you’re honest, you intended to ask… but the words didn’t come. Your inner voice said, “It’s too much” or “It’s not the right time.” That’s fear — and it can lead to silence, or worse, nervous rambling.

 

2. You didn’t know exactly what to ask for.
   You understand the big picture of your organization’s needs, but you’re unclear about specific giving options to present. I call these your Vibrant Options for Giving (VOGs) — created by connecting your strategic plan and operating budget with the question:
   “What could be funded with private gifts?”
   This gives you a variety of meaningful opportunities to explore with each donor — aligning their comfort and interests with your mission.

 

3. Your donor was already eager and engaged.
   You’ve nurtured a strong, ongoing relationship. At some point, your conversation naturally turns to what they’d like to do this year. There’s no formal ask — it’s more about clarifying where their enthusiasm and interest lie.

 

4. Your donor always steps up for new projects.
   You know this giver well — she thrives on making an impact, now. She sees a need and acts, often generously (and usually six figures!).

In these four scenarios, the first two are red flags.
The answer? A clearly written 3-sentence Ask (grab the free worksheet here: marcyheim.com/askworksheet) — and practice!

Also, in scenario #2, your leadership may be contributing to the confusion by failing to define priorities clearly. You can’t make a confident ask if you don’t know what you’re raising money for.

 

We engage with strangers and invite them to become benefactors.

Yes, we are asking for money — but that’s only part of it.

The deeper truth is: we’re helping people give in a way that brings them joy.

The journey from stranger to benefactor is about discovering what inspires their generosity. You listen. You ask questions. You invite them to co-create the impact. You offer real experiences — a tour, a meeting with the CEO, and a chance to see the mission in action.

Some steps are universal. Others are unique. But all of them are intentional — designed to deepen the relationship between your donor and the good their giving makes possible.

And along the way? Clear, confident asks make it easy to say yes.

 

 You have a heart for our county fair.

You understand how generosity helps the fair thrive for the kids and community.

 

Would you consider meeting to explore ways giving to the fair would be meaningful for you?”

 

When the giving goal (your VOG!) is clearly defined, the ask becomes simple:

 

You’ve been helping provide an Academy experience for worthy students for years.
You understand that cost keeps some kids from experiencing our loving, Christian environment.

 

Would you consider a gift of $50,000 to establish the Smith Scholarship Endowment and support an Academy Worthy Student forever?”

 

Start with your best guess about what your donor might want to do.
Write the ask. Test it through experiences that show impact.

Spring is a great time to start planning your asks. By fall, you’ll have clarity.

 

In the meantime, enjoy the relationship. Stay curious. Test ideas. Writing the ask sets an intention — and that’s powerful.

 

So be bold. Stretch your thinking. And take action, even if it’s scary.

When you and your donor arrive together at the right gift, it’s worth the risk — the uncertainty — the slight missteps along the way.

Because in the end, it’s not about the money.
It’s about what the money does.

And when you help create that kind of impact — that kind of joy — for your donor and your mission?

Invest in Joy™

 

 

You always have a choice when timelines slip. Yep, you do.

You can panic. You can blame. You can lay awake at night. You can fire off tense emails, roll your eyes in meetings, and wonder—loudly—why no one else seems to care as much as you do.

Or you can breathe. Reframe.

And please – give this situation the amount of drama it deserves. Remember that deadlines are real… sometimes. More often than not, deadlines are either negotiable—or downright made up. A well-timed, respectful ask for more space can often buy you exactly what you need to complete something with excellence. (But remember… your track record matters. If you’re always the one asking for “just a few more days,” you lose credibility. But if you’re pretty much on time others will often be happy to flex.)

In my coaching calls during this season of galas, runs, and major donor events, I coach a lot around slipping timelines and how this spirals into stress. Instead, let’s get curious about what’s happening here.  (And, keep in mind that in many ways, our major donor relationship action plans are also timelines that shift – remember it the DONOR’S TIMELINE not ours.)

Generally we think of a deadline as something that must happen at a certain time: the gala starts at 6:00, the tent gets delivered by Thursday, the walk begins Saturday morning. But even in these examples how many times are these “deadlines” just timelines—internal plans meant to keep the bigger picture on track?

Timelines should reduce stress. They’re meant to map out the work in manageable and shared pieces. Timelines based on unrealistic or someone’s perfectionism or fear instead of actual constraints, just add pressure and drama. (Bet you all know these folks!)

Let’s shift how we think about and use timelines—for galas, walks, and donor engagement events AND as we consider our major gift donor journeys.

1. What Shapes a Timeline?

Timelines aren’t facts—they’re guesses. Hopefully informed ones, but still guesses. They’re built based on:

• Mindset – If someone assumes the work will be hard, they’ll build in cushion. If they assume it’ll be easy, they won’t. Neither is “wrong”—but mismatched assumptions cause friction.
• Experience – Someone who’s pulled an event for years has a very different sense of what’s realistic than someone doing it for the first time.
• Confidence – If you don’t fully believe in your ability (or your teammate’s), you’ll create more buffer… or more anxiety.
• Trust – If someone’s been burned by a late vendor or a last-minute scramble, they’ll plan defensively. Again, fair! But that doesn’t mean every future timeline should be set in stone based on a past misfire.
• Fear of the unknown – There’s value in building in reasonable wiggle room, but don’t we all know that it’s there???

2. Stop the Spiral When Things Shift

When your timeline slips—and it will—here are your next actions:

• Don’t let one delay trigger a meltdown. Most shifts are recoverable with honest communication and teamwork. Ask – how can we adjust? One of my clients had a report that the golf course her golf outing was going to take place a week later had some maintenance issues. She moved her entire event a week ahead!  It can be done!
• Use check-ins, not call-outs. A timeline should include regular, judgment-free moments to ask, “Where are we?” and “What do you need?” If someone’s behind, find the bottleneck and support them—don’t shame them.
• Check your tone. Passion is great—but if it spills into frustration, finger-pointing, or martyrdom (“I’m the only one who cares here?!”), it kills team morale and trust.
• Keep it about the mission. Yes, you want everything perfect. But your real job is to build community, foster generosity, and move hearts. Don’t lose that in the details.

3. Grace Wins

Every development shop is juggling event logistics, donor stewardship, sponsorship follow-up, and major gift relationship building. Yes, you want a polished experience.

But more than that, you want to inspire generosity and deepen relationships. Everything you do should be measured on the answer to this question…Does this deepen our relationships?

That doesn’t happen through panic, control, or emails IN ALL CAPS. It happens when your team feels like they’re part of something meaningful. Not just another timeline or event machine grinding toward a deadline.

So…

• Hold timelines loosely.
• Treat people with trust.
• Ask for what you need with respect.
• Lead with generosity, not fear.

You always have a choice when timelines slip.

Choose trust. Choose collaboration. Choose to shine.

 

Invest in Joy™

 

Be memorable to your Givers!

You take time to consider your messages and questions before your donor visits. It would be terrific if they heard and remembered our key points, right?

Brian Walter, an internationally highly regarded motivational speaker, has created a system to help your listeners REMEMBER your message!

It’s a frame-work that involves getting your message STICKY by making it Getable, Feelable, Sayable and Doable. Now remember, I just learned this so I am jumping in to try to apply this to our donor conversations.

So…let’s take a scenario and walk through the steps.

Let’s say we are a non-profit that helps the homeless.

1. Getable – our listener must be able to take in the message – get it – and get an ah-ha from it. Perhaps we share, “Did you know that we are feeding over 300 homeless people right here in our community every day?”  I am going with that sounding like a lot in many smaller communities.
2. Feelable – our listener must connect emotion to have the message stick. “Over 100 of these are children under 10 years old.” That would get to me.
3. Sayable – our listener must be able to say it. It’s almost like creating a mini-brand or I can see this being our “campaign” name. Perhaps “Homeless Heros” So we are calling our effort to help solve this problem “Homeless Heros.” It uses alliteration and is easy to say.

OR, maybe this is to inspire volunteers, or legislation.

4. Doable – we want our listener to take action. If X then I do Y.  This step must be easy to understand. Perhaps, “Would you consider a gift of $500 a month to be a Homeless Hero Monthly Helper?”   or maybe Homeless Hero Happy Helper?

Hmmmm.

What jumps into your head?  I DO know that in a song we have the Hook – She loves you ya ya ya (Beatles) and you remember this even if you can’t sing a word of the verse.

The point is to work to make our conversation cover these 4 elements so that our message really STICKS with our giver inspiring them to take ACTION!

What do you think?  Hit reply and let me know if you figure out a great way to use this.  I think if you even consciously considered if you are presenting an idea simply, attaching emotion to it, use words easy and or catchy to repeat, and tie this to a specific action you would get good results. Give it a whirl and let me know what happens!

Thanks for being adventurous!

 

Invest in Joy™

 

You’re likely sharing chocolate and flowers with the special people in your life—including your amazing givers! And let’s not forget those who might be alone after losing a spouse, whose kids have left the nest, or who simply love you. Your kindness can mean the world to them.

In our quest to be everything to everyone (do I know you or what?), we sometimes make love and appreciation more complicated than they need to be.

So, who’s got this love thing figured out? A DOG!

Presenting…

Love Lessons from the Dog

1. Greet everyone with joy. Dogs are always happy to see you—tails wagging, eyes bright, full of excitement. No matter what’s on your mind, practice lighting up when you engage with others. The best part? What starts as practice becomes habit, and soon, joy becomes your natural response.
2. Set boundaries. While a dog would love to be by your side 24/7, that’s not always practical. Couch rules, bedtime routines—boundaries matter. The same goes for your relationships. Loving others doesn’t mean saying yes to everything.
3. Forgive and forget quickly. You could yell at your dog (for something they didn’t even do), and two minutes later, they’re wagging their tail, ready to love you again. Be the person who forgives, lets go, and moves on. (And maybe work on that yelling part!)
4. Go outside in all kinds of weather. Dogs don’t skip their walk just because it’s cold or rainy—and neither should you! Even a short stroll can work wonders. A Stanford University study found that just 15 minutes in nature reduces stress, improves mood, and enhances creativity.
5. Be playful! Ever notice how a dog is always ready for fun? A few moments of play can shift everything. Toss chocolate kisses to your team at a staff meeting, start the day with a silly joke—find your version of “fetch!”
6. Take care in the tub. Baths can be terrifying for dogs—and for good reason! According to the CDC, over 234,000 people in the U.S. visit the ER each year due to slips and falls in the bathtub or shower. So, be careful out there!

Dog lover or not, these lessons will bring more smiles, joy, and lightness to your life.

And most importantly, I want you to love your work, your days, and your life. May this Valentine’s Day—and every day—bring you plenty to wag your tail over!

 

 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!  (from KK & Bodhi too)

Invest in Joy™