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People who are successful in any path in life – family, fundraising, leadership – know the power of their minds in their success. The challenge is controlling your thoughts and monitoring what you place into your brain. That’s the tricky part. We’ve been addressing this in each of my 4-part “Skip Steps to Success” series.

Success (and money) LOVES decision and action! How do we get smarter about raising major gifts faster to enjoy the success we want sooner? How do we find a rich life balance? Can we skip some steps along the way? How do we intentionally incorporate experiences into life to leapfrog over some of the rough parts as well as move through the learning more quickly?

Here are Four Steps you need to take to Skip Steps to Success!

1. Figure out what’s important to you – professionally and personally.
2. Focus on BOTH components of success – the thought process and the specific techniques.
3. Seek out all types of mentors and educational experiences.
4. Realize you are closer than you think.

Appreciate your progress and accomplishments and all you DO and Do RIGHT!

Here are my TOP 5 Tips to Appreciating YOU!

1. Note Successes and Celebrate daily – in fact, several times daily.

In our haste to scramble through our endless “To Do” lists, we cross off and continue with lightening speed. Take a pause, a breath, a minute to appreciate a completed task. “Good, I have that phone call done.” “Perfect, the letter of agreement is to Donor A” “Wonderful, I have taken the next step in getting the holiday cards out.” Some shops circulate a quick email sharing a gift that has come in and recognizing all the folks (admin to the Top Dog) who played a role in it. My favorite is to sing, “TA DA” when I have a “To Do” done. This is so important I even created pads just for you to do this….note the far right check off box is labeled, “Ta Da!”

2. Do NOT multitask.

When your mind is divided across multiple tasks you are not in the moment. You really ARE accomplishing some amazing things, but by doing two things (or more) at once, you don’t fully feel the progress. You don’t fully enjoy the satisfaction of the people or accomplishments. Turn off the email as you type a donor letter. LISTEN on the phone with your entire focus. The person on the other end knows when you aren’t fully engaged. If you ask, “Where did this day go?” you are not present. You missed it. This leads to feeling like you are not making progress. LIVE your life! Show up and be there 100%.

3. FINISH.

Do you find emails you wrote at 8 am still open and unsent at 4 pm? Do you dig through a pile to find the project someone is asking you about now….with the contents of the rest of the pile all shouting at you for your attention? Chain yourself down to your chair and set the timer. Do not move until you have invested the time you committed or it is done. Block off time and get it DONE. Create steps in a big project and get the step done. This is really about not disappointing yourself when the project stays on the To Do list instead of the Ta Da list.

4. Five Minute Surge.

Do you get ‘stuck’ before ‘start?’ You have 5 minutes. Use them to make quite notes, collect the pieces, whatever gets you to BEGIN. Release the notion that 5 minutes isn’t enough time to really do anything so I’ll just jump in Facebook or email (and stay there for 20 minutes). STARTING will help you process the real magnitude of a task. “I have to see 42 people before November 30. How will I ever do that?” becomes “What options do I have to touch 42 folks prior to the end of November? Hmmm, I’ll use 5 minutes to make a list of ideas. Well, I could group these 3, I could see this one at the musical program we both attend, I could visit these 4 perhaps in one day as they are all in the same area of town.” Now you have started. It really isn’t important how the plans change – you are taking action on them and you are closer than you think.

5. Visualize What Success Looks Like and Live it!

I recently heard a program by internet marketer, Diane Conklin, about Goal setting. Her definition of Goals is the perfect close to this message. Realize you are closer than you think to accomplishing your goals by defining ‘goals’ as a reflection of how you are doing your work and living your life – not by some cumbersome process.

For this 3rd quarter and throughout the year, CELEBRATE EACH STEP and BE GRATEFUL FOR THE CHANCE TO TAKE IT! FINISH STRONG!

Invest in JOY!

This is Part 2 of the 4 part series.

How do we get smarter about raising major gifts faster to enjoy the success we want sooner? How do we find a rich life balance?  Can we skip some steps along the way? How do we intentionally incorporate these experiences into your life to leapfrog over some of the rough parts as well as move through the learning more quickly.

1. Figure out what’s important to you – professionally and personally.
2. Focus on BOTH components of success  – the thought process and the specific techniques.
3. Seek out all types of mentors and educational experiences.
4. Realize you are closer than you think.

My business tag line is , “The Mindset and Methods of Major Gift success.”  Sometimes I get a good deal of ‘eye-rolling’ when I talk about the power of our mindset in our success.   I like to think about this dance I do with a major gift giver where at first we tentatively go out on the floor, find our balance, learn a step, maybe step on each other’s feet by accident, and gradually begin to flow with each other.  Over time we glide!  It is such fun, we can’t wait to learn different steps and dance again!

Your inner and outer game.  We tend to focus on the outer game.  Degrees, credentials, how-to’s, courses , best practices, meeting metrics, donor engagement methods. These are important, no doubt.  You can Google “how to”  anything and get a plethora of folks out there to tell you. But it’s our inner game, what’s going on in our heads, that empowers us to skip steps and achieve our goals more quickly.  We focus on the fruits, instead of the roots.

Why?  Most of us go through life with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake.  We want to be successful, but we have limiting beliefs that hold us back.  Beliefs about why people give, money, wealth, our own abilities to be worthy to build the relationships – are we smart enough?  Experienced enough?   Important enough? These limiting belief manifest themselves in habits like procrastination, poor or no decisions, low expectations of giving results and excuses for poor giving results.  These mindset habits make up our internal picture.

Our mindset consists of:

• stuff we tell ourselves (Hmmm, do I talk to myself? ……Just did)
• stuff that our colleagues, bosses, spouses and friends tell us, (You have always had trouble getting appointments, you’re not as smart as _____)
• and stuff we’ve been carting around from childhood.  (Filthy rich.  It’s hard to make a living. There’s not enough of …. You were never good at…)

And this picture we make of ourselves becomes our outer reality.  Really.   Unless we decide to change it.  The best way to do this is to ask empowering questions.  “Why am I so successful..organized…on time….smart…raising so much money etc.”

When we can control our thoughts and come from a place of abundance, it leads us to a “Both” kind of life – not either-or.  “Either I can be successful at work/or I can have time with my family” becomes “I can have both, a successful major gift career and a rewarding family life.”

It is not easy to manage your mind…train your brain… to push out the negative and focus on the positive.  We like to make excuses to not have to take responsibility for our results.  But it is important to keep trying.  To re-focus on all that is right, good, and going your way in your life – your strengths, your gifts, the results you want.

And understand that sometimes you feel a bit bummed out and aren’t sure why.  You feel doubt, sense uncertainty, and experience fear.  You wonder why it is taking so long to get to your next goal.

This means you’re normal.   Then you must remember….

Something wonderful is happening.  For you. Right now. Enjoy!

Invest in Joy!

Part of The Words We Use Series

Let’s talk about Tom. I especially treasured meeting Tom at the United Way Great Rivers Conference last month. He’s clearly dedicated to raising the dollars to make an impact in the community. But, throughout my workshop, Tom pushed back as I stressed the importance of our words in our work and life joy, satisfaction and success. He looked at “picking the low hanging fruit” for example, as a go-getter’s way of focusing on the most likely donors and bringing them in. He said it fired-up his competitive engines!

Well ok then. Let’s go out there and GRAB ’em!

I asked the group to describe WHY these prospects (another word I’m not fond of) were considered “low hanging fruit.”

“They’re easy.” “They are ready to give.” “They are ripe for the picking.” I asked if these prospects KNEW you? Were they your volunteers? Were they your friends? Did they believe in the mission? Had they given to you in the past? Had they come to your events?

“Oh, YES!”

So let’s say Joe is someone who deeply cares about your organization. He’s given gift for years, never misses an event, talks about your organization everywhere, is ready to volunteer and speaks highly of you and what you are doing. You visit Joe and say, “Joe, you are ripe and easy and I’m here today to pick you.”

How does that make Joe feel?

Put names and faces to these “low, hanging fruit.”

Now let’s get back to Tom.  He caught up to me at lunch…an athletic, tall, gracious and dashing fellow.  He took my hand and said, his eyes misty, “There are three gentlemen I have known in the community for a long time.  They are sincerely caring and invest in making the community better.  They believe that if everyone has the opportunity to better themselves it makes for strong communities and families, and that’s good for everyone.  They are generous and caring.  They will be transferred now to another staff member and I was concerned about staying in the loop – I want to KNOW they will be treated well.  Then I realized that I had transformed them into objects (fruit) for my fundraising bottom line (picking).  I felt terrible.”

How we talk and think about our givers behind their back impacts our relationship with them where we are together.    

And equally important  – do you realize how this makes YOU feel?  About Joe, about your work in this honorable and noble profession, about giving?

The specific words we use – to our givers directly and as we discuss these givers in our organizations, must be authentic and respectful. Yes, this is better for them but it also makes us feel differently about our work.

So, when do you pick the low hanging fruit? Never.

When to you check in, reconnect, engage more deeply those closest to you that may want to have an even larger impact? RIGHT NOW!

Then you have more success. You have more joy. And, you sleep better.

4 Steps to being Deliberate

Happy New Year! New beginnings, new plans, new dreams… We have to talk.

We all have fear. We all have habits that don’t serve us – putting off tasks, avoiding difficult conversations, blaming…the economy, our boss, our spouse.

You are part of something bigger than yourself and you want to feel like something is different, better, and stronger because you exist. But we all need help to be in the moment, cherish our closest relationships and honor the nobility of our work through artful relationship building.

You are extraordinarily important to me and I want 2014 to be the year you take DELIBERATE STEPS, small and specific. From now on things are going to be different. YES! Let’s make this the year you say, “From now on….” and mean it!

Here are 4 Steps to Being Deliberate in 2104

1. Deliberately pick your 2014 Word of the Year.

Early each year I consider how I want this next year to be..overall. I want a word that captures this feeling… sets the stage for the year. ‘Abundance’ ‘joy’ ‘focus’ ‘implement’ are words that have served me in the past. This year I selected, ‘deliberate.’ What one word describes your overriding feelings and goals for 2014? Write it down and post it!

2. Deliberately apply your Word of the Year.

You have SO many opportunities and options for how to use your time, what to eat, how to spend your money and where to focus your attention. I want to make each choice DELIBERATELY, not offhandedly. Keep moving forward, (thank you, Dr. King) DELIBERATELY. “I will do my relationship action pl ans for my top prospects with a vengeance for the next hour. Then I will call a friend, go on Facebook, walk about the office, whatever…but I will DELIBERATELY stop and do something else.” Deliberately work AND play! Drop the guilt because you are doing what you intended to do deliberately. Don’t absentmindedly reach for that monster donut, DELIBERATELY eat that great treat – or deliberately choose not to. How can you take your word and apply it?

3. Deliberately adopt the Power of One.

Elaine Beaubien, college professor, and CEO of Management Training Seminars shares that we are what we repeatedly do. “Excellence is not an act, but a habit” said Aristotle. You have the power to create your DELIBERATE performance regardless of the ‘culture’ or your boss, or whatever.

Amanda Gore, an inspirational speaker and coach shares one question you can ask that will change your work culture. It is, “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?” Seems it also works around the dinner table.

4. Deliberately plan and set high expectations.

YOU create your donor experiences – are the extraordinary? Are you carefully planning monthly ‘touches’ that you (or someone you enlist as your partner) carry out? Do these lead your major donors to the major giving option you have helped vision with them? Are you communicating DELIBERATELY – with a message that is clear and concise? Set your bold giving action goals. Deliberately STATE your expectations for yourself.

In 2012, after a disappointing Rose Bowl loss with my Wisconsin Badgers, Russell Wilson said, “To lose the way we did is only going to make me stronger in the future and help me figure out something else down the road. Maybe win the Super Bowl.” Look for him with the Seahawks this weekend… in the Super Bowl. I’ll be cheering him on!

This year I will deliberately be reaching out to you more…encouraging you to invest time and resources into your own growth. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. With one small, but deliberate step, you can make, ‘From now on’ changes that you want to make, stick!

As the pace races faster during our year-end giving bustle, we can feel the shift from enjoying it all to “just getting through it.” That’s when our appreciation and gratitude need to be called front and center. Long days, metrics to meet, cards to send and double-duty with family and donors can transform joy to frustration. When we go through every day with gratitude and appreciation for the people and experiences we encounter, LIFE becomes a SPECIAL EVENT!

Here’s how:

1. Remember, YOU CREATE YOUR LIFE.
   We’d like to blame external stuff for bringing us down, or giving us stress, but YOU and YOU alone decide how words and events make you feel. No one can MAKE you feel anything. When you take responsibility for this, you unleash an amazing power over your own moods and spirit. Remember to flip the switch in your own brain and choose a positive interpretation of other’s actions. Be grateful you have this power!
2. Make your own MAGIC.
   Something very wonderful happened to me in October. My former Campaign Chair, Robert Walton, hosted the, “Wonderful Women in Walton’s Life” dinner. Fifty of us gathered for a beautiful meal and one-by-one Bob shared why we were there. Bob chaired a $10 million campaign – my first of this size in the late 80’s. The goal was raised to $20 million. Speaking at a massive campaign event, Bob said, “I must share we have not met our goal.” All eyes turned to me. “We have surpassed it and raised $26 million!” He brought us together to thank us for what WE had done for HIM! That was a switch! And, he encouraged us to make more good happen by partnering with the other 49 women in the room. How can you make YOUR own MAGIC?
3. Embrace the hard side of others.
   There’s this saying, “Nobody loves you when you’re down.” It is amazing to me how generous and patient we will be with our donors when they are frustrated or challenged, yet we expect our supervisors, family, and colleagues to always be positive, never lose their tempers or “go off.” No one can be “up” 24/7. Everyone needs someone they can vent with. Help others work through what is pushing their buttons. Don’t jump on the victim bandwagon, “Oh poor me, she yelled at me, now I feel bad about myself.” Sometimes people in your life can be porcupines – that’s when you need to hug them the most.
4. Why are you so wonderful?
   Ask yourself the right questions. Instead of, “Why can’t I get it all done?”or “How will I meet my giving numbers?” ask, “What is most important for me to do right now?” and “Why are so many people interested in supporting my organization this year?” Our minds are like Google. We will search for the answers to the questions we ask, consciously or unconsciously, about ourselves. Ask questions to bring your best self forward. What are you GRATEFUL for today?

Here’s wishing you endless reasons to be thankful in the months ahead.