Create YOUR Circumstances!

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, create them.” — George Bernard Shaw

In our major gift development work…as in life, every day is filled with circumstances – the “state of affairs.” Too often we simply accept that these are the cards we have been dealt, shrug and plod along. Like Mr. Shaw, I don’t believe in circumstances. Instead….

1. Make the most of the prospective givers you know now. “My portfolio doesn’t have as much potential as Joe’s.” When I worked at the University of Wisconsin, my constituency was Life Sciences and Agriculture. Clearly engineers had more wealth! You could see 10 lawyers and never leave one floor in a high rise – mine were hours apart! “My mission does not address basic needs.” And, of course, the current favorite, “The economy!” The magic of major gift success lies in the relationships we build – in propelling ourselves out of our desk chairs, prying ourselves away from our ‘life-changing’ email and getting out and talking to prospective givers. Use energy, creativity and take a long-view in your major gift work and I promise you will find wonderful gift surprises in every constituency, mission and portfolio.
2. Deal with staffing issues. Of all the circumstances that can poison energy and drag down productivity, it is the staff member that is contributing barebones either by laziness, ignorance or attitude. These tend to also be the ones who run to HR or the ED and stir things up. Sadly most of the time we invest energy into working around these folks. Don’t. Document. Hold accountable and see results or take action to move them out.
3. Remember the serenity prayer. If you don’t, Google it and read it. When should you just “let it go” or “buck up?” When is something really “small stuff” and when do you need to deal with it? Here’s my 3-step check list.
   1. Am I Hungry? Am I Tired? Some situation is really bothering you. Ask yourself, “Am I hungry? Am I tired?” Seriously? Yes. A small issue looks overwhelming when you’re exhausted. Have you ever chewed someone’s head off when really you just needed to chew on some food? Write down the circumstance. Do nothing. Get some rest and/or food – look at it again. If it is still bothering you, then figure out what to do about it.
   2. Is this circumstance a constant companion? Is this situation something that is grinding on you? You tell your spouse? Colleagues meet at the coffee pot to complain? If there is something in the environment that is gnawing at you, dig deep to see how it is impacting your personal life, your health, your happiness. See the organizational chart and your box. Asked yourself, “Will my box ever be different here?” In my coaching, both with staff and leadership, the most popular questions center around how long it should take to get to a major gift ask and the pressure/stress we feel around this issue. Organizational expectations need to line up with personal value systems or – change your circumstances.
   3. Am I being a victim? Poor me. Blaming your circumstances is a very convenient way to get validation and attention. There are always other complainers around to join in. And, you don’t have to take any risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action. For example, if you call for the appointment or make an ask you might face possible rejection or failure. It protects you from the heavy lifting that comes with taking responsibility. As long as I can wring my hands over my circumstances I don’t have to dig in, create major donor action plans and implement them!

A few short days before we were set to leave for our Anniversary getaway, school started. Our 13-year-old son, David, was placed in a section in his small, gifted and talented, private school with not one of his 4 closest guy friends. The 8th grade year loomed long, indeed. Told he was “outgoing and charismatic” and would be just fine (in other words, no section changes would be made) we had to search and research alternative circumstances or decide this was “small stuff.” We dropped a very happy David off at his NEW school on our way out of town. Create YOUR circumstances!