BOO! Fundraisers’ Fears and Fixes
Tis the season to be scared!
Think about it. Someone or something scares you… you freeze, your heart races, you sweat, your eyes widen. In a haunted house this might be exhilarating and exciting, but in our major gift work, (and in many areas of our lives) it is crippling. But realize this — THE FEAR STARTS and ENDS IN YOUR HEAD!!! We become what we think about!
Yes, fear is crippling. We freeze — stop taking action. Our hearts race — lost sleep in worry, procrastination. We break out in a sweat — our hands at least, just before that big ask or metrics update. Our eyes widen — what will people think of me if I don’t make my numbers? And….-what will people think of me if I DO raise lots of money?
“I’m afraid.” We have al l said it (or for certain thought it!) Fear.
- I’m afraid Joe won’t make his gift because of the economy.
- I’m afraid we won’t make our dollar goals. (or metrics or whatever).
- I’m concerned Bill doesn’t get to the ask soon enough.
- I’m afraid I don’t know enough to discuss all the giving options.
- I’m afraid we won’t have the funds to deliver enough of our services.
- I’m afraid no one, (aka my less ambitious colleagues) will like me if I am too successful.
Have you ever heard, “I’m afraid we are going to have the best year we’ve ever had!”?
Ok now…let’s hit the top fears and FIX THEM!
1. Fear of Success
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Marianne Williamson. Too often we “hold back” shining our light, fearing we’re not enough, or even worse, wrongfully fearful of outshining those around us. We’ve been conditioned to ‘care about what others think’. Doing our best work may mean we must leave some people behind — the blamers and the victims. Some people, as we grow and succeed, are not good for us. We want to be liked. But being successful means more dollars into your mission. Being successful means living your life to its fullest potential. Focus on the transformation you are creating in the world through your non-profit. The bigger your WHY, the easier your HOW. Keep your time with those who are not on board with your success to the minimum.
2. Fear of Wealth
Somewhere along the way we were convinced that money is the root of all evil. It’s not. Money is important. Rich people are not filthy, greedy, slimy jerks. If you’ve raised any major gifts, you already know that. Money is important. Learn from, and model, the wealthy folks you have the opportunity to work with. 99% of them are humble folks who have taken risks, created value for those they serve and are far more interested in accomplishing something worthwhile than in what’s “in it” for them. Read books like “How Rich People Think” Steve Siebold and “The Millionaire Mind” T. Have Eker. What attitude towards wealth and rich people do you take along on your calls? Respect or inner resentment? It shows.
3. Fear of Rejection
“No, I don’t want to make a gift.” “No, I don’t want to meet.” “No, I don’t want to hear about your latest project.” If we are doing our major gift work properly, we are looking to create relationships with folks who SHARE OUR VALUES and resonate with our mission. If we sincerely believe in our mission, and we are doing our work honorably, we are “judged” by sharing the opportunities, NOT in controlling how others react to these options. While I believe people give through me to my organization, my relationship is just one piece of my prospective giver’s life — children, aging parents, health concerns, current business success and other charitable passions. I can help a flicker of interest turn into a blaze — but I can’t control how other people feel or think. They are not rejecting me, or the organization, or our relation ship. They are simply making a decision on a particular invitation to meet or give based on all that represents their life at this moment. (and that could change next week)
FEAR is a four-letter word you don’t want in your life. Identify your fears, trace them back to childhood or the remarks of others that got stuck in your brain, create a new message, visualize your success and take action. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… and not much of what we do in major gift work is really life threatening. It’s ok to feel fear — that will never stop. It’s not ok to stay afraid. It IS all in your head. Give yourself the positive self-talk when you are letting fear hold you back. Get on with telling your story, making artful asks and living your best life.
