Tag Archive for: Generosity

Happy New Year!

Did you stay awake until midnight on New Year’s Eve? I sure did! Sang Auld Lang Syne – you can see it here – silly to be sure. The song has been around since 1711 and means ‘For the sake of old times.’  It is a long song about two friends catching up over a drink or two, their friendship having been long and occasionally distant. Sounds like all of us in 2020.

And now it’s a new year. What’s the magic about a New Year? The new beginning, of course. The fresh start. The chance to change. The new opportunities that await. New hope. New dreams for better days, relationships and waistlines.

Many have been eagerly been waiting for 2021 to begin. But here’s the deal…..

• News of the day bringing you down? Change channels or shut it off.
• Struggling to get a conversation going with a major donor? Send a card.
• Tension mounting at the working-from-home home front? Start laughing (it’s contagious)
• Played freecell (this is a confession) instead of writing your blog? Start the timer again.
• Ate Christmas cookies for lunch? Maybe broccoli and chicken for dinner.
• Don’t like what Alexia is playing? Say, “skip.”
• Can’t get started. Stop. Stand. Sit. Start. Begin again (even if you never began in the first place.)

No matter how 2020 went for you – you can reset to move forward. No matter how this morning went for you – reset to move forward this afternoon.  No matter how triggered you were by a toxic colleague’s behavior 10 minutes ago delete it or deal with it and forget it and reset.  Create a new beginning.

My wish for you is that you see EVERY day as a new beginning…not just January 1. Every hour, every minute is a new beginning – a new chance – to hit reset when you need to. Every conversation is a new beginning, every relationship is a new beginning, the next email in the inbox is a new beginning, crawling into bed is a new beginning, stopping to reflect is a new beginning. It makes life fresh all the time!

It takes energy to live our lives. It’s more important than time really. Manage your energy and you will get more done with more joy. How much energy do you want to exchange reacting to that political post? That snarky email? The cat missing the cat box? The disappointing news? How do you feel after you get angry or dramatic? Lifted up or drained? Energized or exhausted? 

You can push the reset button at any time!  I can’t keep bad and disappointing stuff and people out of your life. But I can assure you that YOU CAN DECIDE to only give a tiny amount of your energy to what drains you. I can guarantee that it’s your time, your turn and your world. Right now.

Just hit the reset button and shine on! 

Grateful for you and what you do…everyday.

Invest in JOY!

Whenever, or if, you celebrate a formal Thanksgiving Day, you have the responsibility…and the DELIGHT..to give thanks EVERY day. But watch your words!

First, some definitions. Being thankful often implies you are acknowledging your thanks for something that someone has given you, or done for you. This can be a gift or holding open the door. The Oxford Dictionary defines the word thankful as “pleased and relieved.” Both of those are great feelings. Everyone wants to be pleased and relieved. But that’s just it; they are just feelings, and feelings fade.

Gratitude is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “showing an appreciation of kindness.” This is where the difference lies; being thankful is a feeling, and being grateful is an action. Being grateful is about appreciating what one has, as opposed to what one wants.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow” — Melody Beattie

In our fundraising work and lives, we say things that diminish our thanks and gratitude. Here are Three Things to Never Say Again when Being Thankful.

1. “I left money on the table”

What the donor gives you is just right. It may not be the number you put down in YOUR plan. Or, you sense they would have given more if you had asked for more and somehow you feel like you blew it. Do you see how this line of thinking implies that what they DID GIVE YOU is not good enough!? When you embrace that your job is to create an authentic relationship with your major donors, you are thankful for this gift. Period. It gives you the opportunity to say, “Thank you” and to stay in touch. Gratitude for the gift helps you create the experiences with the donor that fosters their gratitude to be part of your work and in their lives. You simply cannot create this experience if you somehow feel “cheated.”  This carries over with your spouse or kids. If you get a “yes” for ½ hour of help, do you suspect they would have done more?  “Rats!” you think? Wrong! Change that thinking. Relationships are life-long.  

2. “If only my board, (or CEO, or program staff, or family, or whomever) would help!” 

There’s probably nothing I hear more than this feeling that, “I do it all.” This is a victim mindset. Life happens TO you. You can’t control your circumstances. You would be more successful if others did their part. It is your choice to hold onto this belief. With a daily practice of gratitude, you thank them for their service, appreciate what they DO give or do NOW and get curious with them about how they see themselves doing more with you. This shifts your energy to actions that appreciates their fears, talents and perceptions and changes your experience with them, allowing you to focus your time on what they ARE able to do, and shoring up your fundraising with partners who can be of real help.

 3. “I have to get thank you calls (or thank you letters, or visits) done.”

Thanking can become such a chore – tasks on the list that weigh on your mind. “Is it too late to even do now?” It’s when you go beyond the obligation of thanks – to the action of gratitude – that you go deeper and these become actions you GET to do!

As my client Georgia Cumberland Academy crosses the finish line this December on their campaign – growing from a few hundred thousand to $20 million, we’re taking actions to help donors remember how far we have come. Honestly, it’s hard to even visualize what the place looked like before. Saying, “thank you” has been a continuous, but now fostering that deeper gratitude is inspiring continued connections.

Your “thank you” is acknowledging what someone has given you, and I’m sure you DO feel thankful. However gratitude goes deeper. It is a state of being where you are at peace with the world. Being thankful is the first step, and you need that initial feeling to build upon. Gratitude requires you to stay alert of the role of others in your life – beyond the act for which you are thankful.

Through gratitude, you get to credit your donors – and your loved ones – with the appreciation they deserve. It encompasses shared experiences, shared respect, shared love and an understanding that the universe is a positive place conspiring to keep us happy, and help us understand how connected we are to others.  Grateful for you – grateful you are connected to me.

Invest in JOY!

PIVOT – Marcy Style – Part 1

Today’s answer for everything…”just pivot.”

Just how do you pivot to jump-start fundraising and life growth?

Ever seen a pivot? My first image is that marvelous quarter-mile long,

spider-like metal creature that rolls over 100 acres of corn, onions, wheat or other crops spraying water. The center-pivot allows the arm to rotate to some degree around it.  It grows food and that’s a good thing.  Farmers are constantly tweaking their pivots for optimal crop production. 

Hmmmm. Something to learn there.

With my band, our dancers are well familiar with pivoting….it’s how you shift your weight to change direction…especially in line-dancing. Without pivoting your moves are limited. You can quarter pivot, or full pivot.  It’s easier to lose your balance in a full pivot than a quarter-turn pivot.

Hmmmm. Something to learn there. Marcy line dancing on the beach.

So let’s pivot – Marcy style.

(and here’s a worksheet to help you)

P = Persistence – gracious persistence. Often shipwrecks occur mere miles from the shore.  Generally success is the result of simply persevering. Gracious persistence is the art of gently teasing out your donors’ unique fears and beliefs in these times (and frankly, in all times) while continuing to connect, care and have giving conversations. Don’t make excuses.

I = Information and Innovation.  You need both. Drop being offended. Be curious about others – NOT judgmental.  Lift yourself up to a level that wants to know what led them to feel like they feel? How do their life experiences, values and beliefs influence their engagement with your mission? Where are you getting stuck in, “we’ve always done it this way?”

Rarely do we pivot for the hell of it. Failure is the unwillingness to learn and change based on better information. Generally something, like our “new normal” or poor results, or complaints, is pushing us. “We’ve been thinking for years that our annual gala wasn’t working. Now we have to change it.” Better, moving forward, constantly seek and listen to feedback. These times are a universal “kick in the butt’ to do things differently instead of repeating what has been.

V = Vision. Your North Star. Your Big Why. Have you drifted from what really matters?  We get lazy. We lose our zeal for why what we do matters. We settle. This leads to desperation because we suddenly find we are no longer essential and relevant to others. We MUST AT ALL TIMES see tomorrow AND see three to five years from now. What we are asking for today must play into a solid future our donors can connect with.

O = Optimism.  We become what we think about. (Earl Nightingale) We cannot stop icky things from happening. We cannot ban sadness or loss from our lives.  We cannot pass a law or riot to change hearts. But we do have the power to rise above anger, rise about our circumstances and rise above hate (Nelson Mandela) instead of rising against these things. Each and every day, our determination to be the bright spot for others, the best call of their day, the positive presence in their life will have eternal impact.

T = Take Action.  (ok, I couldn’t find a “T” word I liked) Just like a full pivot can throw you off balance dancing, much of what you are doing is solid, and small tweaks will make a big difference. While many of our pivots have been thrust upon us, there is a really exciting place between, “It will never be the same again” and “Let’s just throw everything out.” Much will never change. Generosity. Faith. Hope. The need for human contact. Fear is crippling and shuts us down. Fear leads us to saying, “It won’t work” “They don’t want to hear from me now.” “Year-end results will be down.”  Small pivots are needed. Too many pivots have your going in a circle (just look at the irrigation pivot). But take action! Try something different to connect, to engage, to learn how a donor wants to help. Keep taking action! One call, one text, one email more. 

I’m so proud of you, and I am here for you.

All around you people are different – you have to navigate every relationship like it was brand new. Even those you have known “forever” may react to our current times in ways surprising to you. Yet you are continuing on – from where ever the office is these days, with the cat or dog or kids in the scene and you are pushing past the fear and raising more money to do more good. 

Thank you and Bravo!

Hey! It’s SEPTEMBER 1^st Day 245! That means 121 Days Left (Leap Year)

Listen up, my friend, YOU have this wonderful last trimester of 2020 to SHINE!

Are you going to finish this year strong? Knock the ball out of the park?

–       Covid or no covid?

–       Election or no election?

–       Working from where ever you are working from?

–       Social distancing and relationship building?

Come on, now…….

2020 has elevated DISTRACTION to a whole new level!

To help you right now, I created the FINISH STRONG FOCUS FORM! Download it now.

I get it. The health concerns are real. The new protocols are real. Homeschooling is real. Concern for family is real. And on the lighter side, now I have to find my keys, my purse AND my mask before I leave the house!

But our core values..

….our love for family and country,

.…our respect for those who have served our country,

….our passion for changing the world with our work,

.…our bond with each other-all others, and

.…our faith that God is using this for good, have not changed.

While I rarely do this…the past two weeks have been so powerful for me in realigning  who I am and what I believe.  Both of my boys were home and my band played 4 gigs – one in celebration of David’s graduation from Berklee College of Music in Boston, MA. At David’s Graduation Party show (he’s been in my band since age 13) the first arriving guest ask, “Where is the card box?”  I hadn’t even thought about it.  The outpouring of generosity to my son was overwhelming and SO needed.  Covid hit musicians hard. At another gig, outside, over 300 folks, sun setting, I just stepped offstage and sang, “God Bless America.”  EVERYONE was on their feet joining in. At our last gig, son, RJ, sang “God Bless the USA” as the audience stood for a color guard from the local American Legions and VFW’s and waved flags.  This is just such a remarkable time. Where ever you are – whatever country – may you recommit to the values that make you and your country great.

NOW LET’S FINISH 2020 on FIRE!

Here are three simple, effective and empowering strategies to step up the quality, quantity, and intensity of your efforts in these final 121 days. Implement them immediately and you’ll quickly close any performance gap.  These, combined with the FINISH STRONG FOCUS FORM!  will help you power through! 

STRATEGY #1 GET SERIOUS 

You have 121 days left. Take the next 7 days to…

… set crystal clear goals for what success by 12-31-2020 looks like.

….decide on the drama you will tolerate in yourself. How does watching the news make you feel? How does being curious about your donors’ year-end giving plans make you feel?

With a finite period of time breathing down your neck, you have no choice but to get serious. Be clear by next Tuesday, September 8, 2020, after the Labor Day holiday in the USA. Execute like your life, career and future depend upon it.  I assure you…they do! 

Decide that what you want is BIGGER and far more important than any fear, excuse or self-defeating behavior which prevents you from achieving it. 

STRATEGY #2 CREATE A SENSE OF URGENCY 

Each day is ticking away. Success is an ongoing game of cause and effect, and by accelerating the cause…you can and will dramatically accelerate the result. 

Your ability to compress and shorten the amount of time it takes to turn any goal, idea, project or problem into a successful outcome will raise your energy. Don’t put it off…put a fire under it! 

STRATEGY #3 DRIVE BIG RESULTS 

Big donors want to fund big visions, yes even now! Get clear year-end giving options in place NOW. Pick your theme. Set goals for your year-end appeal. Define your segments. Write your major donor asks now and set your year-end giving intentions for your top 40 NOW. 

YOU HAVE THIS WEEK TO SET YOUR MIND TO YOUR 2020 SUCCESS!

See it, say it, believe it, DO IT!

Click here to get your free downloadable FINISH STRONG FOCUS FORM!

Don’t tell yourself you want to do your “best.” Tell yourself, “I want to do better today than I did yesterday.” Each day you learn and grow by the victories and failures you experience. All these experiences make you better….and better…and BETTER!

For the next 121 days be better today than you were yesterday. 

Does if feel harder to lead? Harder to feel part of the team? Harder to get along?

Some days a good old boring staff meeting looks pretty good during life “behind screens.” At least to me.

How are you doing? (Hint – start with, “Terrific!” You’ll feel better, I promise. I’m sending you sunshine!)

Before I launch in with my secret …a disclaimer to all my clients…you might read this and think I am talking about you. It might fit…but this is a reflection from years of being me and coaching leadership, staff, boards, givers, volunteers and my husband, kids, bandmates, and friends. Then stirring in these COVID times.

Let’s start with the notion that in general, people like people like themselves.  We forge our friendships and our working relationships most easily with people who are like us.  We also find it easier to be with people we’ve worked with/lived with for a long time because, through trial and error, we have figured out how to get along with them…aka your significant other and/or your kids. (Or perhaps you’re still working on the kids!)

But the rub is that the richest life (and the best results) come by engaging a mix of people and ideas and talents. Thus, we find ourselves working with new team and board members who are not like us and we may be getting to know them virtually (is this being recorded?) or with only limited time in person. Some may never take OFF their mask or never put it ON! Gracious.

But there is a secret to working well with others – all sorts of others.

For example, while we appreciate a vibrant leader who is out there in the community engaging others in our cause, it can be frustrating getting them to focus on the next steps we need to get a project in motion. Why don’t they understand that we need clear steps and systems?

Perhaps…

• She announces a new program, then expects the team to figure out the details to implement it.
• She thinks you should be comfortable talking directly to her about anything on your mind. She is!
• She thinks she is so approachable but gets irritated (and it shows) if you question her.
• She thinks she’s a great coach but she doesn’t understand how BIG her personality is and that her advice might be hard for you to manage.
• She jumps from one idea to the next and gets bored if you try to talk to her about the details.
• She seems to have a ‘favorite’ staff member she pulls in because they work alike. You’re too slow or just not getting it.
• She makes a decision with only a fraction of the facts you think she needs to make the call.

SHE, of course, is me.  And though I’m incredibly better at both leading and working well with others now, it’s a life-long journey of growth. NOW, I have a consistent team, NOW my family thinks I rock, but I’ve worked really hard at it, and continue to.

There is a secret to working well with others – all sorts of others. Personally, and professionally.

Yes, know thyself and love thyself. As we all shift in and out of working from home and virtually it’s important to revisit that you are a special gift. There is only one you. Your mission is to be so sure of who you are that you can adjust and others around you can thrive. It’s not the other way around. Waiting for the boss to change? Waiting for that colleague to change? They may. But you can control YOU – you know this. Start with you and a clear awareness of your modus operandi or ‘way of operating’ and you will work better and be happier.

Embrace any tool you can get your hands on to learn more about yourself. My favorite is the Kolbe Test A (www.kolbe.com). Any potential hire or client of mine takes this. As I help clients fill their teams, yep, they use the Kolbe. It is $55 bucks and I get no kickback except seeing you succeed.

The Kolbe gives you four numbers between 1 and 10 that describe your relationship to Action Modes. Fact Finder: is how you gather and share information. Do you simplify or want specifics? Follow Thru: is how you organize. Adaptable or systematic?  QuickStart: is how you deal with risks and uncertainty. Stabilize or Innovate? And finally, Implementor: is how you handle space and tangibles. Envision how things could work or demonstrate solutions?

This is not IQ or emotional feelings. It’s about how you go about doing things. Why this is important in getting along is that we tend to think people take action like we do. So not true. And two people with a Kolbe score in any of the four categories more than 4 apart will struggle.

Meeting in person is hard for a low quick start and easier over zoom – there’s a protective barrier. The high quickstart boss is frustrated in this work-from-home time and the low quickstart team member loves it. The high quickstart starts pushing for face-to-face meetings and things can unravel.

Here’s what I want you to take away….

1. Get your Kolbe’s done and read your results. (www.kolbe.com) You can set up time to talk to me about them at www.scheduleacallwithmarcy.com
2. Know how YOU operate. Sure it’s great if the team takes it, but just knowing how you function will help you understand why you’re frustrated or struggle with others.
3. Remember that you need a high quick-start to lead…but that they can be tough to work for.

Push yourself to communicate with them – even if they bowl you over (they will never see that).

1. If you’re a high quickstart, celebrate your gifts, but force yourself to manage your comfort with risk and uncertainty. It serves you well, but you can often overwhelm donors, team, and board with your large presence – even through you are a Rockstar.
2. If team members reach out to others for help with a leader – often they are risk avoiders (low quickstarts) and talking to the boss is just too risky.  Bosses see this as talking around them. This is a sure path to struggles.
3. Rethink that everyone wants to get back to being in-person. And that some REALLY miss it! Keep your antennae full up for messages from others.
4. Ask yourself and others some questions…

• Do you tend to read a lot of reviews before you buy something?  (High in first category)
• Do you like tasks that have clear steps in writing for you to complete? (High Follow Through score)
• Do you want routines (pretty tough in covid) or are you comfortable with wild days (high quickstart)
• Do you feel scrambled if a donor or boss rambles? (That’s your low risk tolerance)
• Do you want a plan or do you just want to get going?
• Do you want someone to SHOW you how it’s done? (high implementor)

In a nutshell…know how you operate and adjust for others. Some people are going to drive you nuts! Understanding why makes it easier. You are a gift. Package yourself for success and joy!