Do You Want More Success? Do This ONE Thing.

This is the most generous time of year.
But honestly? This is impactful ANY time of year.
Whether you’re writing a letter, an email, a text, a voice message — or better yet, making a personal visit — one simple change can transform your relationships and your results.
Always begin with YOU.
In my consulting, I edit scores (and scores and scores) of letters, emails, and appeals every month. And 99% of the time, they begin with the nonprofit — NOT the reader.
Yes, somewhere later in the message there’s usually a donor-focused sentence.
But it’s buried. It’s not the opener.
And that’s too late.
You’ve already missed the chance to authentically connect.
Because it’s not about what you say.
It’s not about what you do.
It’s about how you make your giver feel.
As Maya Angelou reminded us — and I had the joy of singing with her long ago —
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
YOUR giver wants to feel…
- Seen.
- Like you’re talking directly to them.
- Known.
- Special and important.
- Appreciated.

Opening with YOU does all of that — instantly.
**Real Examples:
The “Before” I See All the Time vs. the “After” You Should Use**
Before:
We want to thank you for making XXX a very special place…
After:
YOU make XXX this very special place…
Before:
We invite you to leave your mark on…
After:
You have already left your mark here — and you represent us every day as you travel through life.
Before:
On behalf of the XXX Administration, I want to thank you…
After:
Your financial gifts to XXX make a profound difference — especially for students facing financial challenges.
Before:
We are excited to share that the building walls were recently raised…
After:
You are part of an exciting time for XXX as the building walls were recently raised.
Additional “YOU-Focused” Openers That Work Beautifully
- Your partnership in this mission is…
- Your impact reaches farther than any of us can see today.
- Your support is especially meaningful as we move forward with…
- Your commitment is bringing important support to…
- You bring a unique understanding of XXX’s history and potential.
- Your role as a trustee is shaping the future of…
And Remember — Opening with a Question Can Also Boost Engagement
Questions naturally make the brain lean in:
- When you think back to your time at XXX…
- Did you know it’s been 40 years since XXX has had a major facilities renovation?
- When you imagine the future of XXX, what do you wish for?
This Isn’t About Making Donors “Save” Us
It’s not about neediness.
It’s not about pretending the giver does everything.
It’s about making them feel seen and heard — like the real partner they are – in every message, human or AI-boosted — as you build sincere personal relationships.
Because YOU Are Key to Your Success
You inspire generosity.
You create connection.
You make people feel valued.
You move missions forward.
YOU matter.
And YOU are important to me.
Invest in Joy!™
Take baby steps.







See the shift? Same reality, but a different lens. The reframe focuses on possibilities, joy, and service instead of frustration, fear, or lack.

Marcy’s More Major Gift Habits You Need
Here’s the thing: Generosity Sparks are the most important habit. They plant seeds, deepen trust, create an experience (that may be just the good feel listening to your message) and set the stage for every comfortable giving conversation.









Because the sponsoring organization is technically the legal donor (not the individual), there are IRS rules we need to follow when saying thank you. And yes—those rules apply even when we know the donor personally recommended the gift!

