I am a strong believer in coaching…and this is different than having mentors. Mentors are generally folks 
who help out other folks gratis…and that is a great thing. But sincere and deep change, I believe, happens faster and more effectively with a coach. Generally, you have invested some dollars into your coaching experience and this investment will often inspire you to dedicate time to sincere application.
As we get advice from others, however, we need to check in and make sure this resonates with who we, and our organizations, are. When I coach, I say, “People can smell/feel a fake a mile away” and generally everyone nods in agreement. So ask yourself these 5 questions for a quick check-in with your authentic self as a major donor gift professional.
1. Do I believe in the mission and vision?
Ever try convincing someone of something you don’t really believe? Pretty tough, isn’t it. If you are ask to raise money for a project that doesn’t align with who you are, take a deep look at why. Is it against your personal spiritual beliefs or culture, or do you feel it is not the most major priority for the organization? Often times a change in leadership will shift an organization. This can be healthy, but may lead to ‘mission-drift.’ You may get advice to just “go with the flow.” To be authentic, identify the piece of the mission that resonates with you and place your focus there. If it is just too far away from who you are, consider moving on. “When YOU believe, you’ll BE believed.” Without that sincere passion for the mission and/or project, you and your success, will be limited, and you will be unhappy.
2. How do I feel about money and wealth…and “rich people”?
What ideas did you experience about money growing up? “Filthy rich” “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “You can’t be rich and kind.” “Rich people are ________ (you fill in the blank.)” My point is, you need to explore these money and wealth feelings. You may be advised to keep these feelings to yourself. Better, read books like “How Rich People Think” by Steve Siebold and challenge your limiting beliefs. Authentic development officers have a solid respect and appreciation for their successful donors and what they have accomplished — not inner resentment.
3. Do I have gripes or criticisms about colleagues, bosses, leadership, board?
Have you ever seen a successful victim? Victims blame, justify and complain. It’s always something or someone else’s fault — the economy, your boss, your spouse, the mission, the competition for private support and on and on. You may be advised to join in the office banter. Authentic development staff accept responsibility for their lives and results. Period.
4. Am I enough?
Development officers repeatedly tell me they are advised against getting “too close” to their donors. Authentic development officers know that there are a lot of schmoozers out there who are likeable but don’t go deep enough to be trustable. When we ask, “How can I serve my prospective giver?” instead of “How do I get the money?” our authentic caring will be enough.
5. Does this work for me?
There are volumes of advice on how to do just about everything with major gift development and relationship management. In the end, it needs to work for you and your prospective givers. I had been advised to use the first 10 minutes or so to “remind” callers about the Donor Attraction Inner Circle program details. After David, one of my subscribers, pointed out how sales-y this felt (and CERTAINLY NOT MY STYLE) I knew I had not been authentic. It may be good advice, but does it work in your universe with your people? (by the way, thanks, David for the authentic feedback).
Our greatest asset is to have all of our giving conversations from a place of authentic respect for our prospective givers, our organizations and ourselves. Humans trust through vulnerability. The best compliment we can receive is that we are genuine. And…we will be so much happier!
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© 2012 Marcy Heim and The Artful Asker LLC.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:
Marcy Heim is a sought-after coach and trainer to fundraising leadership, staff and key volunteers who are transforming the world by encouraging philanthropy for their missions. She is a trusted authority in the development profession, who helps organizations and educational institutions uplevel their major gift programs through artful, long-term relationship building that dramatically increases fundraising success AND promotes increased staff job satisfaction. Her monthly Artful Action newsletter inspires leadership and staff to embrace the real power and joy of philanthropy. If you are ready to take your development efforts to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at www.marcyheim.com.
