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Crescendo’s Practical Planned Giving Conference (PPGC) was a great opportunity for me to share how to ‘Ask for Anything Artfully’ and my brand new keynote, “Joyfully Adapt! Bravely Believe! Authentically Connect!”  My thanks to Crescendo, the other amazing presenters, and over 500 folks who really connected with me and gave such positive feedback! Thank you!

But even more….

 I took away 3 Planned Giving GEMS – and I want to share them with you!

Marcy’s Three Key Take Aways from PPGC

1. The foundation for all IMPACTFUL planned giving efforts is a genuine leadership culture that embraces and fosters authentic planned giving relationships.

Charles Schultz, President of Crescendo, is one of the most positive, sincere and dedicated leaders and giving professionals I have even known. Serving the donor permeated everything. We speakers all provided tangible marketing and planned giving tools and techniques — ALL in a framework that was remarkably donor centric. There was an undercurrent of respect, partnership-building and dedication to helping people help causes important to them. This true culture of generosity is spearheaded by Charles, his wife, Executive Vice President, Ardis Schultz and daughter, Executive Vice President, Kristen Schultz.

Troy Wada, conference attendee and Principal Wealth Advisor, of INPAC Wealth Solutions in Hawaii serves on the Ronald MacDonald House board – his passion. He partners with local non-nonprofits to help clients with wealth planning AND with making significant gifts. He said, “I’d rather leave a bigger mark.”  Companies reflect their leadership.

2. People make their own choices and decisions.

Julie Heggeness, the Executive Director of Gift Planning for Hoag Hospital Foundation shared six donor stories in her keynote presentation. One was about a women who was tricked by an internet “romance” into sending over $8 million away, leaving nothing for her noted charities. Even with legal intervention and proof of the hoax she continued to send away her money.

You may have your horror story, too. You may also see how planned giving can make such a positive impact IF your donors would only take action. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

3. The complexity of Planned Giving is all in your head!

Much of your fear of doing more with Planned Gifts comes from an “it’s so difficult” mindset. In my own keynote I quoted T Harv Eker who said, “Every master was once a disaster!”  After spending this time at the conference I feel a lot less like a disaster! With the help of inexpensive ($5000/year) planned giving marketing tools you can plant the stories that help donors wonder if THEY, too, can do good! Andy Ragone of the Crescendo team said, “Keep it simple. Simple is sustainable.”  Embrace that you are a dot-connector.

Generally gifts of cash and securities go to today’s needs of the organization. Planned giving is about your donor – her legacy.  And real magic… using the distribution you HAVE TO take from your IRA or other retirement vehicle at age 70.5 to support a cause you have a heart for is a great way to use planned giving to help a charity with TODAY’S needs!

Know that setting your mind to increasing your major gifts, or your planned giving work is step #1 in helping you do more of your mission. Within you is the absolute power to rise above any situation or struggle and transform it into the strongest and the most beautiful version of you ever. Thank you! I appreciate you…always.

Invest in JOY®

When Dean Leo Walsh offered me my first fundraising job – a new position at the UW – I said, “I can’t ask people for money.”  Good thing for us both that he didn’t believe me! Turns out not only can I ask people for money, I can ask for ANYTHING and ARTFULLY!  Thus – the Artful Asker. And this work has been a life-long joy!

Yes, I AM confident. AND, I’ve had a lot of practice. Decades of engaging with people – literally thousands of conversations – listening to them, sharing with them, asking them, and appreciating them.  Oh, and screwing it up with them – did I mention that?

Think about the FIRST time you did anything….rode a bike, used a new app, tackled a work out, took a test, ask a girl out, cooked a new recipe or changed a diaper.  How did it go?

Here are 5 Tips to Gaining Confidence in building relationships and ASKING for Major Gifts from your donors (and asking for anything in your life, too)!

1. Embrace being a beginner (or doing anything new).

Often we are embarrassed to have anyone know we are a novice. When folks share that they are new to fundraising, their job, or major gifts in my sessions, it tells me they want to learn, grow and do good work. It reminds me not to “assume” what someone knows and to check in that my message is making sense to them. You can be at your job 20 years and be new to this project, this deferred giving vehicle, this relationship, asking for major gifts. Your donor can be a “beginner” at major gifts to you, too. Here’s where passion comes in – you don’t have to know it all or be skilled at it all to be excited and dedicated to what you can do. Embracing you are learning demonstrates both humility and confidence and smoothes out the hiccups in the process.

2. Ask for help and advice.

Avoid the generic questions like, “What brought you to give to our organization?” and find YOUR way of saying, “I’m new, (or our relationship is new) we share a passion for this mission, and I want to make your experience with our organization the very best!”  And DO LEARN. If you’re stuck in actually speaking an ask, what to say, here’s my ask worksheet.  www.marcyheim.com/askworksheet.  In it are steps to take up to an ask and a simple 3-sentence recipe to make one.

3. Practice. Set Intentions.

I can read the three simple steps to doing a sit up, watch a video on how to do a sit up, even attend an exercise conference and learn about sit ups.  The only way I will get results is to lay down and DO them!  I maybe can only do 3, and not well, but I will get better and better results the more I do them!  Writing an ask sets intentions – it’s your north star. You can ask it over and over to yourself in the mirror until the words flow.

4. Take imperfect action. LOTS of it!

This is another way of saying, “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” The more you ask for the appointment, the major gift, whatever, the more confident you will become in asking and the easier it will be. The tool is no good if you don’t use it. Sure, folks will say things that throw you, or hurt you, or surprise you. They will also say wonderful things about your mission and your work. Learn from it all. Forgive. Repeat what best helps folks say, “Yes,” to you. When you have your Ask written before your call, visit, email, text or zoom, the conversation will support your journey to your north star. It will develop that “touch” for knowing when to ask.

5. Continuously learn and reflect. OWN YOUR ROLE!

“Every master was once a disaster.”  True words from T Harv Eker. View every donor conversation as an opportunity to learn. Push down the negative thinking. “I Ask too much.” “I don’t know them well enough yet.” “What if I offend them?” Instead OWN that YOU ARE KEY TO MAJOR GIVING SUCCESS!

Let me close with a story…..

A faith-based client was in a donor conversation and talked about how God provides resources when we don’t think we can afford these types of projects. Afterwards, the donor came up to her, shook her hand, and said, “Yes, God provides resources, but it usually comes from people, and someone has to ask people to give to these projects. I just want to thank you for being that person who asks. What you do is really important.”

I just want to thank you for being that person who asks.  What you do is really important.

Invest in JOY®

Recently two major gift fundraisers coaching clients created and held brand new appreciation-engagement events.  Tense conversations surfaced as the unexpected and follow-through mishaps generated frustration. Yet the joy and euphoria that followed these mission celebrations with givers who deeply care erased much of the pre-event pain. There’s just nothing like it.  Have you been there?

My son-in-law, Drew Vanderwert, is here for a first-ever visit with our 2-year-old granddaughter. Drew is a Senior Associate at LandDesign – a Landscape Architecture firm in Denver and shares my “I create my life” managed-mindset approach in work and life. I’m extremely proud of his growth and accomplishments – and he’s a great dad!  

As he manages folks on his team they are required to ask themselves, “Are you a Prideful Plumber?” as they submit their work. Plumbers create a plumbing manifold – a hub for the plumbing system that distributes the water throughout a home. How this manifold performs and looks is different when created by a plumber who takes great pride in her work. I got to thinking about how we can benefit from this approach.

Are you a Prideful Plumber?

1. Your work is clearly labeled in clear terms.

A prideful plumber labels her drawings with understandable words, not jargon, and it is easily read. All the needed labels are present. It generally takes more time to complete this.

Our donors are generally not plumbers or fundraisers. When we take that extra care to explain ways donors can help with clear pictures, stories and examples that demonstrate annual giving, vs endowment and estate giving, QCD’s and more, it serves our donors. It may well take several conversations and some time and patience. Best practice says 3^rd grade level and skim-able content.

2. Checkpoints are created throughout the process of creating the manifold.

Prideful plumbers are sure to build in check-points with milestones along the way and to have others review their work.

Some of us see asking someone to read over our work as demonstrating a lack of confidence, or a show of weakness. In fact, this is a show of respect for your donors and your profession. You care enough to first, check your own work and then, get a second pair of eyes to see what you missed.  Putting in some early deadlines can help refocus on when different tasks are due. In the end, embrace that there will always be the “last minute” tasks. Paying attention to timelines and getting others involved says, “I care” and allows for the magic that comes from collaboration.

3. Your work leaves a positive long-term impression.

A prideful plumber creates a system that is not only functional but LOOKS like care was taken.  The pipes are the same intentionally-measured distance apart, labeling is present, simple and clear. It gives you the feeling that someone knew what they were doing and took pride in their work. It leaves an impression for those who follow long after the original work is done.

When our total look – from a clean car to a clear letter of agreement – says we take pride in our work, it leaves a strong positive long-term impression. It’s a legacy you can leave that will serve your mission and your donors well.  And, for most of us, it’s often a legacy we get little recognition and appreciation for. That feeling of “Job well done” we must often conjure for ourselves. The perfectionist in many of us will read this in total agreement.  However, I’d also speak for balance with grace for yourself and others in determining when “good enough” is, indeed, good enough.

DO take pride in your work!  Know that even when it is not always recognized and appreciated by others, your work leaves a legacy and continues to share your caring, high self-esteem and determination to help your non-profit mission shine!

Invest in JOY®

Cheers to YOU as the sun rises and sets on the longest day of the year. (I am writing this June 21). Today brings 3 hours and 17 minutes more daylight and I got to see it start to finish! Wohoo!

This day was a full one – not a crack in the calendar. I made a point to notice the many times my clients – fundraisers, CEO’s and Board members – made some reference to appreciating me – my counsel and my friendship – throughout the day. It happens a lot and this is a big deal!  It’s easy to get focused on the challenges and tasks… and work REALLY, REALLY hard….and do good work. Then, exhausted at day’s end, wonder if anyone appreciates what you did, including you.

Here are THREE Steps to YOUR recognition and appreciation

 – finding the right mix as part of doing your job.

1. ASK for it – recognition and appreciation.

This comes from a place of sincere desire to know that what you’re doing is effective. “Was this call useful for you?” “What’s your impression of how my work is going this year? It feels good to me, and I wanted to check in with you – boss, Dean, CEO, ED, team.” This conversation can often end with, “It means a lot to me to hear you feel my work is valuable and appreciated.” Let’s put this messaging out there!

Our non-profits struggle with staff appreciation. It’s almost a badge of honor to work yourself into the ground. (It’s not.) And, we tend to feel obligated to focus on what went wrong. This past week, my consulting colleague, friend and 26-year non-profit ED, Sheree Allison, wrote in her blog, “Something I know for sure is people place more value on recognition from their associates and peers than they do a gift, or even a salary raise. It has deep meaning for people. I see now how important it is for there to be a mechanism in nonprofits where people are rewarded for innovation, creativity, growth, reaching new goals, and even tenure.” 

Sheree suggests organizations can show appreciation by investing in better tools for staff to do their work, providing paid-for professional development and team building experiences and giving gifts that are meaningful – not a plaque. (You can find her blog here”  https://shereeallison.com/wise-words-blog)

2. Clap for yourself!

I now clap for myself! I first heard this from Mary Grate-Pyos, MBA, CFBS who is a rock star at personalized retirement, insurance and financial advice. She says, “Love on yourself! Clap for yourself! Every day I live out what my creator has set up for me!”

You see, your feelings about being appreciated are really an “inside job.” It’s a reflection of your self-esteem. It’s not constantly pointing out what you have done in a “Look at me!” way. That’s a signal of a needy, insecure person who is struggling to set up boundaries and priorities. When we look to others to value our worth, we will often be disappointed – they just don’t appreciate all the time we put in, how hard we work, the sacrifices we make. It puts us in that “poor-me” victim space. Are we eager towards our work or constantly complaining about being overwhelmed? Our self-talk determines our accurate evaluation of our own performance – do we make excuses or take responsibility?

Yes, keeping a file of praise you receive, notes of appreciation from others, and the strong review is a great idea. These are tangible testimonies to what you already know – you’re doing a great job. But the one person whose opinion really matters — is yours. Honestly reflecting on how you manage your days, how you show up for and with others, how YOU value what YOU do gives you the confidence to own your good results and provides your opportunities for continued growth.

3. Practice genuine appreciation of others – ALL others.

We place a lot of attention and focus on thanking and appreciating our donors, partners, influencers and funders – and FAST! And that IS important! I say constantly that especially for major donors – my expertise – feeling appreciated far outweighs recognition pieces and events for most. Your sincere and authentic appreciation is a strong anchor in a genuine giving relationship.

We need to extend this to our colleagues.  This goes beyond the obligatory, “Thank you for your help.” It’s the genuine, “Wow, I am really glad and grateful for your ______. I appreciate it!”  That comes from making appreciation a consistent thing – a habit, BEING AWARE of what others are doing and doing well.

So thank you….

Thank you for being a role model for your family and loved ones. (Happy Father’s Day!) 

Thank you for your commitment to showing up day in and day out to live out your highest standards and be the best you can be. 

Why?

So you can appreciate YOU!

Invest in JOY®

It’s almost summer! Get excited!

This is my life right NOW (and I’ll bet yours too!) And we need to GET EXCITED!

Listen up….

• Get excited about the weeds you pulled in the garden this afternoon.  And…get excited about how the garden will look when it’s all done!

• Get excited about raising $5,000 and $10,000 gifts now!  And… get excited about asking for $100,000 and $250,000 gifts in the future.

• Get excited about sending out your first email message to about 300 folks with things looking a bit wonky in places. And….get excited about improving each issue in the future as you learn the tool better.

• Get excited about your spouse’s, kids, co-worker, board member’s accomplishment now!  And….get excited about where this will lead them in the future.

• Get excited about the work you are accomplishing now at the gym. And… get excited about how you will get stronger and stronger in the future.

With so many tasks and projects clamoring for your attention NOW you can feel let down with where you are now. 

With your drive to want to SHINE like a LED super bright bulb all the time you can feel a bit dull right now.

Right now…when the list of “projects to complete this quarter” doesn’t look remarkably different from the last quarter. 

Right now….when 190 pounds doesn’t feel remarkably different from 192 pounds (yes, I have become robust!)

So RIGHT NOW — GET EXCITED!

Being excited – happy – positive is a skill you work on. You work on it with others. You grow your excitement when you focus on reading others, being present, listening and providing feedback with a different perspective. It’s not about being the center of attention. It’s about being part of the show.

GET EXCITED ABOUT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!  Be grateful for it – all the bells and whistles and even the ripped screen on the porch.  At the same time, anticipate and look forward to the future.

How to get EXCITED about your life and your major gifts fundraising!

1. See NOW as your chance to get experience.  Every day you get to DO it again – remind yourself of all the times you do it well! Let your excitement push down the fear you’ll mess up.

2. See NOW as your chance to LEARN.  Learn more about your givers, more about getting that entire weed’s root, more about the best weights for the workout. Knowledge conquers fear.

3. See NOW as your chance to Ask for help!  When someone takes a step with you that launches momentum!  All I have to do is go to Burn Boot Camp. Just show up. They totally help me from there.

4. See NOW as your chance to Take a step – Trust yourself. Write that 3-sentence ask – practice it.  Go on that call. Say it – it may not come out just like you practiced and that’s fine.  You can continue the conversation and you may just get a Yes!

5. See NOW as your chance to Change your self-talk. You won’t be excited about your life if you are constantly telling yourself it’s too hard, or you’re tired, or you don’t get any breaks or you’re feeling terrible.  You’ve got to talk to yourself in a supportive way. “Hey you’ve got this.” 

And here’s the thing! Getting excited about today changes tomorrow. Getting excited about tomorrow changes the next day.

You can handle what happens to you.  Happy Summer! NOW!

Invest in JOY®